this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2026
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[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 69 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

I thought "who wears the pants in the relationship" pretty much means "who has the last word in domestic affairs", which is independent of employment status.

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 23 points 1 week ago

Yeah, plus the undertones of wifebeating/manbeating

[–] Maven@piefed.zip 20 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I had always interpreted it as wearing work pants for a factory job or putting on suit pants for office work.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Implying unemployed men / house-husbands don't wear pants?

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

spend long enough at home and you realize the folly of wearing pants

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Is it not the middle of winter where you live?

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

yeah?

we have insulation and heating lol

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If you're heating enough to be comfortable with naked legs in early February, you either have extremely strong thermal isolation or you're wasting energy (which costs money and is bad for the environment). Or you have the constitution of an Inuit, I guess.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

i have 3 hot-water radiators (connected to district heating of course) in my 1-room apartment, we just actually insulate our houses in the nordics.

It's just barely enough to keep the temperature at 21°C which is to be fair a bit too low for me to be comfortable without a tshirt and long johns, but then that's also because i just sit at the computer and thus don't make much body heat.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Dude I live in Germany, you think we don't insulate our houses?

Sounds to me like you're wasting district heating, I doubt they have much waste energy that they actually don't have a use for.

Granted, 21°C would be too cold for me to consider wearing just a tshirt on top. It's 20°C in my apartment and I usually wear tshirt, sweater, long johns, pants and a bathrobe at home.

[–] Maven@piefed.zip 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I always assumed the other person wore an apron (aka took care of the house) instead of pants to go to work.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Men literally wear pants to bed, while women used to wear skirts or dresses at all times, including work...

[–] Maven@piefed.zip 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I dont think anyone has ever claimed in either interpretation that the phrase is 100% accurate to real life and depicts a healthy modern relationship.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 3 points 1 week ago

IMO it doesn't even make sense as a metaphor to interpret it the way you do.

[–] howrar@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 week ago

It's true. We don't wear pants while on house husband duty.

[–] MrQuallzin@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

That's how I've always known it as well. Probably regional?

[–] Zorcron@piefed.zip 6 points 1 week ago

Yeah, that’s how I think of it too, but I guess in the patriarchal stereotype of heterosexual relationships, the man occupies both the roles of the primary earner and gets the last word, so they may be conflated by others?

[–] gnarles_snarkley@beehaw.org 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Traditionally only men wore pants and were the primary breadwinners. The person who "wears the pants" is the one who is the "man" in the relationship. E.g. the one who makes the money, the one who makes decisions, etc.

It's sexist shit.

[–] anothercatgirl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 45 points 1 week ago (1 children)

yeah, me too, except I don't have a top so I jusy bought my own cage to sleep in

[–] moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

indeed the number of lag spikes and errors in my Jerboa app has been really bad lately. It allowed me to hit send 4 times on the same comment (no pasting).

[–] HappyFrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I know there's a joke abou being a masochist some where here.

[–] AdrianTheFrog@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

i remember this from the paper (pg. 14)

[–] burgermeister@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago

Fuckin cool, I'm gonna read this whole thing

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago