this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2026
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Context: He's in the files

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[–] protist@mander.xyz 117 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (8 children)

Is it because our solar system is hurdling through space at over 1.5 million miles per hour, so anyone who time travels will find themselves alone in an empty void?

[–] Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world 111 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (9 children)

There's no universal frame of reference. Any theoretical time travel would likely need a beacon of some sort to calibrate their arrival point, meaning you couldn't travel back beyond the point time travel was established.

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago (3 children)

You know what they say: the best time to build a time machine is 50 years ago.

I think that's basically the movie Primer too, they'd turn the machine on, go hide in an apartment for X amount of time, then go back to the machine and emerge 5 minutes after they turned it on and just walked away.

But gravity effects time, sticking close to a planet isn't going to be hard.

Ironically enough the first (if we ever get them) time machines are going to be a hell of a lot like modern "UFOs" are described. You couldn't risk landing on the planet, elevation changes are what's really a nightmare to account for. Show up and hour early and everything is a foot higher because of how fast we're spinning.

So you'd want a space craft, because space is big and empty. And realistically it's going to take something bigger than a telephone booth or even the 1980s embodiment of Florida on four wheels with a hood designed to do cocaine off of to house a time machine.

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[–] mmmm@sopuli.xyz 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Damn physic laws removing the fun from physics

[–] MalReynolds@slrpnk.net 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Don't get me started on the second law of thermogoddamics (I'll never stop :).

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[–] phdepressed@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I've seen this take a lot it feels like and it boggles the mind why. If someone figures out time travel they ipso facto will have figured out the space travel as well.

If you can travel through time you can travel through space.

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[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 74 points 1 week ago (8 children)

Listen, dude: I’ve got a lot more concerts in my list before I get to your lame-ass party.

Would you have missed Metallica in Moscow for some party you assumed nobody would attend? Fuck no.

Now if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna go sell all your grandmothers some really strong modern weed to get into Hendrix, New Year’s Eve, 1969.

Can’t wait to hear Machine Gun live.

[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 31 points 1 week ago (3 children)

lame-ass party

Since the time traveler would be from the future, he'd have already known that nobody went to the party.

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 27 points 1 week ago (2 children)

XKCD rule: lame ass-party.

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[–] TheFogan@programming.dev 9 points 1 week ago

Or... isn't there the theory that time travel just creates an alternate world. but all timelines exist... so there's a second line where there's 50 people that brought their year 3000 band, and their instant ALS cure pod, partied with Hawking then arrested trump for his crimes before he could run for president.

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[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Would you have missed Metallica in Moscow for some party you assumed nobody would attend? Fuck no.

Let's see... the egotistical pricks that sued anyone that wanted to like them... in an authoritarian shithole... or hanging out with Stephen Hawking...

Tough choice. Can I convince Lars to sleep in the disaster bed? Or help them with arrangements so that songs that have about 1 minute of interesting music don't have 8 minutes worth of filler?

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

This was a million and a half people vibing so hard they broke their government. I’m not missing it no matter how much of an asshole Lars Ulrich is.

[–] themoken@startrek.website 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

My God... Is the fact that boomers think '60s weed was mind altering proof of time incursions from the dank future???

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[–] RustyShackleford@piefed.social 52 points 1 week ago (8 children)

Now, I’m speaking hypothetically, legally, and for educational purposes only… you fast-forward a few decades and suddenly certain names appear in court documents and flight logs, not convictions, not proof of wrongdoing, just… associations. Enough to make a careful chrononaut say, ‘You know what? I’m not popping back in time to shake hands and eat shrimp.’

The absence at that party wasn’t evidence that time travel failed. It was evidence that it worked, and everyone who could come already knew how the story looked later.

History doesn’t just judge actions. It judges proximity. And no self-respecting time traveler shows up early to something that turns awkward in hindsight.

[–] TeamAssimilation 22 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

More pragmatically, time travel for a casual party would be risky because you’re carrying germs many generations apart. Time travelers would wear full-body suits or risk dramatically altering history. They could not drink or eat anything.

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[–] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago (4 children)

There is also the idea that time machines work like telephones. You need to have a receiving end made first before you can call it.

[–] Naz@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Half this comment thread legitimately knows how they work

The other half is speculation

The truth is in the middle, Lemmy people are pretty well versed in science fiction and science :>

[–] NihilsineNefas@slrpnk.net 34 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Using "Knows how they work" while talking about goddamn time machines cracks me up every time.

It's like you're confidently arguing that the inside of a black hole is another universe where time runs backwards and dogs meow ;)

(For tonal clarity I'm not taking the piss, it's just funny when folk get really into a scifi topic and get all fanfiction about it)

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[–] draco_aeneus@mander.xyz 37 points 1 week ago (3 children)

What are the chances that visiting Steven Hawking is the most interesting/fun thing you can do, if you could freely time travel? I'd much rather go look at dinosaurs, or visit the construction of the pyramids, or go listen to Martin Luther King Jr.'s speech.

Even if my goal was to meet a single scientist, I think I'd personally pick any other. Pliny the Elder, Marie Curie, Albert Einstein...

Not to be rude to Mr. Hawking (well, maybe he deserves it, I don't know what got him in to the Epstein files...), but a thorougly average party is simply not likely to attract very many time travellers.

[–] mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago

What are the chances that visiting Steven Hawking is the most interesting/fun thing you can do, if you could freely time travel?

Not only that, apparently the machine he used to speak was rather difficult to use quickly, and drafting responses could take hours or days depending on how much needed said. Pretty much all of his appearances after he was unable to use his voice were heavily scripted ahead of time.

So unless you're visiting Steven Hawking when he still could talk, it'd be pretty boring as you couldn't have a proper back-and-forth conversation

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I think his party would attract at least a few curiosity seekers.

On the other hand, it would likely include time travellers from various future eras, perhaps hundreds, or even thousands of years apart. Future time travel would have to be heavily regulated, to keep unauthorized people from screwing up the time line. So perhaps future time travellers are expressly forbidden from having contact with other time travellers, making Hawking's party the one place that time travellers are NOT allowed to visit.

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[–] WonderRin@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Honestly, even if time travel were theoretically possible to be invented, there's also a high chance that we're just going to destroy ourselves before we get to that point anyway.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

Also, what if it uses a lot of resources and potential time travelers didn't want to waste them to go to parties (thus further progressing your hypothetical conundrum)?

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[–] muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works 29 points 1 week ago (2 children)

What the fuck is he in the files for? What did he allegedly do? He’s bound to the chair!

[–] mirshafie@europe.pub 51 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Likely lots of people who had contact with Epstein did nothing wrong, at least not on that level.

He was collecting powerful people, in science, business, government, anything. One way to do that is to offer access to other important people. The ability to say to someone "I can connect you with Stephen Hawking" is currency.

The pedophilia ring and sex trafficking is the exact same thing -- just a way to appeal to certain people.

I think it's more interesting to talk about who the fuck gave Epstein a private island in one of the most stupidly expensive spits of sand on the entire planet. Likely the same people who killed him.

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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago (15 children)

It's a little ableist to suggest that his being wheelchair-bound would necessarily prevent him from being a pedophile.

[–] Canconda@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (10 children)

wheelchair-bound

Dude was fully paralyzed. Come one. Are you really that desperate to attack someone? Guy is asking a valid question.

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[–] Omnipitaph@reddthat.com 23 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I have thoughts.

It was ridiculous that Hawking thought a time traveler would make it to his party for several reasons. There are a few models of time travel, and only one of them has an internal logic that allows for traveling without paradoxical consequences; multiversal divergence.

Our version of the time traveler party was one of an infinite amount of time traveler parties that hawking hosted throughout the multiverse. A time traveler would be traveling to that time like picking a grain of sand on a beach, where each grain of sand is a near identical party to the last.

As our version of the party diverges from the realities with time travelers who chose to travel to the hawking party, there would be a diminishing set of infinities containing time travelers that were attempting the journey.

Thus while the chances of a time traveler going to the party are 100%, the party being our version of the party approach 0 infinitely fast.

[–] ranzispa@mander.xyz 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You can spend your entire life thinking about it and you Will never reach a definitive answer. Or, you can spend a day to set up an experiment and throw a party.

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[–] Azzu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

You're missing the point completely.

You do not actually know if "paradoxical consequences" are a thing. Logic might, like everything we believe right now, turn out not to be how the world works.

Stopping yourself from doing an experiment because "current knowledge makes it seem impossible" is how science never advances.

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[–] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Hawking knew no one was going to show up. It was done as a sort of proof against it. He just thought it was more likely then the existence of god.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

it would frankly be dumb not to throw the party, because at worst you just have a bit of a weird boring party, and at best you meet some fucking time travellers

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[–] Sunflier@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

Spoiler Alert: the time travelers are the ones who took the picture of Hawking.

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Goddamn so everyone's a bastard, eh?

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He wasn’t known for being a great guy, just a really smart guy.

The name of the late Cambridge physicist was included in a 2015 email in which Epstein told Maxwell to offer a reward to any of Giuffre’s “friends acquaitonts [sic] family” who could prove false an allegation that Hawking had participated in an “underage orgy” in the Virgin Islands. Hawking, who died in 2018, has not been accused of a crime related to Epstein.

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[–] Cattail@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Lol all the time travelers go to when hawking was on Epstien Island

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[–] Wren@lemmy.today 11 points 1 week ago

People have been getting taller over time. Hawking didn't book a big enough venue.

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