The Onion

The Israeli government have put out a powerful statement accusing the Geneva Convention of being a secret member of the terrorist organisation ISIS.

This comes following criticisms of Israel’s actions in Gaza, which many experts claim directly break the Geneva Convention in regards to collective punishment of civilians. However the Israeli government has disregarded the convention claiming that any suggestion that no civilians should be killed in war is a direct attack on Israel’s right to defend themselves from random civilians in hospitals.

“What Hamas did was inhumane,” said one Israeli government official, “they killed many of our civilians and that is why no one should even think to suggest that we don’t need to kill way more uninvolved Palestinians and cut off millions of civilians from the basic necessities to live. Clearly the only reason one could question that is if they are literally ISIS!”

“People keep talking about the kids in Palestine who are dying, but some of those kids have been seen near some extremely dangerous rocks and rubble. They and everyone else at their school are probably a part of ISIS too. That’s why we need to fight their rocks with drone strikes.”

“Also, if you read this Geneva Convention, you will see that no where does it specifically condemn Hamas by name. It may as well say ‘we love terrorism’ at this point. Shame.”

Following the statement the US, UK and Australian government’s have all condemned the Geneva Convention and have pledged their uncritical support for Israel defending themselves against the Geneva Convention, as well as any civilians that Israel will claim are being used as ‘human shields’.

link: https://chaser.com.au/world/israel-accuses-the-geneva-convention-of-secretly-being-a-part-of-isis/