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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Delicious_Bother_886 on 2026-01-31 02:39:35+00:00.
My wife and I have 4 cats. One of them is a dainty 6 month old Void/Black cat. She seems to have chosen me as her one and only human. She will cuddle with me for hours, nuzzle into my hoodie pouch like a ball of contentment, dangle over my shoulders like a scarf with a heartbeat, literally chase me around the house and figuratively try to kill me for not giving her enough attention.
She has a name, but I don't use it unless I'm scolding her. When I get home I greet her with, "Hello my Silky Darkness!", because her fur is super smooth and silky. I will also call her variations on that depending on the situation: my Slinky Darkness when she is trying to sneak and failing miserably, my Stinky Darkness when she saunters away from the litter box, my Stupid Darkness when she slams head fist into the window after bouncing around the house like a pinball(the TOP window, six feet off the ground, this actually happened), Ect..
I must add, I am the Whitest White-Boy McWhiterton, all Scottish/Irish/English, and I married a POC(23 years strong!!).
I arrive home from work today, just finish closing the door, my cat already reaching up to me for cuddles........ and inexplicably, unbelievably, ... unrecoverably... say in a high-pitched cheery voice, "Hello my Little Darkie!". I immediately freeze, wide-eyed in horror. My wife woodenly leans around the corner with that look on her face that says "EXCUSE ME?!?". Instantly she connects the dots and sees what happened. Her face changes from fury to .... victory? I can only stammer out a, "n...NO...nono" before she interrupts me while pointing at me with, "NO!... I know EXACTLY what just happened inside that brain of yours! And it does not change one BIT that I now OWN YOU!!" with ALL of the triumph in her voice and points at our security camera. She pauses just a heartbeat, a look of dawning realization on her face, and nearly stammers herself, "And.... that is especially important coming from ME to YOU!"
Send help... the ball-gag and paddle came out!
TL;DR Me, white boy, called my cat Darkie in front of my POC wife and she wasn't even mad!