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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/TheSnappleGhost on 2026-01-31 03:25:25+00:00.
It is about 1 hour post debacle. Being that I live in the Midwest and it's Friday, traditionally we go out for all you can eat fish fry. Today was no different and as usual we went out to the bar and ate copious amounts of deep fried fish.
Feeling absolutely stuffed afterwards we decided that we wanted to go for a walk but as it's below zero the only choice was the mall. However the mall closed in 30 minutes according to the website and we decided that we would go walk around Walmart in the next town over as one does when there's nothing else to do in the Midwest.
Shortly after arriving at Walmart, I got the bubble guts and I knew there was no way I was making it home. Well if any of you have ever been into a Walmart bathroom you know that it is a lawless no man's land.
Recently our Walmart upgraded to wall mounted toilets that have a shallow basin. I sat down to do my business and upon releasing the demon inside me, I must have relaxed enough and my balls dipped into the now murky brown shit water.
Now here's where it gets better. All the stalls were closed except the narrow one and I'm 6' 3" and a large man. I have ZERO room to spread out my legs making wiping near impossible and making it so every time I sat back down, I redipped my balls. I hastily flushed, wiped as best I could and stuffed some TP in my boxers as a just in case.
I headed out, checked out and rushed home to shower. Needless to say, I'm traumatized.
TL:DR-Got bubble guts in a Walmart after all you can eat fish, got stuck in the narrow stall and dipped my balls in diarrhea water.