this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2026
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[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 212 points 2 weeks ago (9 children)

That's because it's a bribe, and not a documentary that's supposed to make money, lol.

"I’d be amazed if box office gets reported on this title," one industry insider told The Mirror, adding that the film’s distributors might be paying a fee to cinemas to screen the movie, an established practice known as “four-walling.”

Documentary filmmaker Stefano Da Frè, who was not involved in the film, told CNN that "data-driven" Amazon would not have invested that much expecting to lose money.

“With all their tools, all their AI, Amazon Web Services — they didn’t just come up with that number randomly,” Da Frè said. “They believe, through their metrics, that it’s worth that amount.”

[–] tabarnaski@sh.itjust.works 106 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

40M is nothing to Bezos, and it's a good investment if it wins him a few favors from Trump.

[–] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 36 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

Really depends whether Trump can handle the humiliation.

[–] floofloof@lemmy.ca 78 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

Personally, I was eager to see it and super pumped to finally learn more about this fascinating and enigmatically beautiful woman. But while I was waiting in line with hundreds of other culture lovers, George Soros came strolling along and paid each of us a thousand quid to go and watch something better instead. So I went and saw The Smurfs and got pie and chips. I hear he's going to all the cinemas with these bundles of cash. Him and Obama, who was doing the cinema on the next street.

[–] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 14 points 2 weeks ago

SOOOORRROOOOOOSSSSSSSS!! gestures angrily at sky

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[–] gdog05@lemmy.world 35 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

With narcissism, I think their goal is always both. They deserve the bribe and the adoration, in their minds

[–] HamFistedVegan@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

It shows a really quite astounding lack of self awareness to even think that it's worth having a premier in the UK.

Had she been even remotely aware of how we (I'm from the UK) feel about her husband over here, she would know that this was inevitable.

Her husband is universally despised in this country. Even by the Right.

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 23 points 2 weeks ago

She should be despised too, she's not a victim.

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[–] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 18 points 2 weeks ago

If it gets them a new tax bill or something, it'll be worth billions. Trump is the cheapest presidential bribe of the last 100 years, and that's just because of inflation.

[–] criss_cross@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

“With all their tools, all their AI, Amazon Web Services — they didn’t just come up with that number randomly,” Da Frè said. “They believe, through their metrics, that it’s worth that amount.”

Having worked at Amazon for a couple years this is the most hilarious thing I've read.

If someone L10+ wants something to happen its gonna happen metrics be damned. Lemmings will fudge numbers and just make it work. For all the bluster about LPs and such it's a very top down culture and what VPs and above want they fucking get it.

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[–] floofloof@lemmy.ca 151 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago
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[–] knighthawk0811@lemmy.world 125 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

this comment has more viewers than her movie

[–] Zier@fedia.io 13 points 2 weeks ago

Worldwide even.

[–] Jaysyn@lemmy.world 106 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] titanicx@lemmy.zip 19 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

Isn't it an Amazon film, not Netflix?

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[–] LordCrom@lemmy.world 93 points 2 weeks ago

This movie was just a trump bribe.

Amazon didn't care if it lost money. They gave 25 million for the rights to melanias story right to trump. A legal payout. So they spent a few more million on a failed movie.bribe was payed

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 84 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Wispy2891@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

You can choose the seat yet take one on the side??

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[–] flop_leash_973@lemmy.world 59 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

I dunno how you get a whole movie out of her story. What is there to tell?

  • Eastern European model

  • Sleeps her way into the family of a rich asshole

  • Has baby to secure long term seat at the dinner table

  • The end

That's a story everyone has seen play out 1000 times already.

[–] Gammelfisch@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago

Illegally worked in the USA too.

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[–] I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 57 points 2 weeks ago (9 children)

Why would someone be humiliated that their money laundering scheme is laundering money?

You people don't honestly believe she gives a shit, right? And you certainly must recognize this movie as just being a grift, and that it wasn't made with the intention or expectation of being successful, right?

Please tell me you all aren't that fucking blind.

[–] limelight79@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago

Yep, it's just like all of the "bestselling" books the right "writes". Real people don't actually buy them; the PACs buy them to funnel money into the pockets of the subject of the book.

[–] ZombieMantis@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago

It's not money laundering, it's a corrupt bribe.

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[–] aesthelete@lemmy.world 48 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

What the fuck is possibly the content of this movie?

How to pretend to have a headache so you don't have to sit on the mushroom again?

Melania's early career as a queer-baiting wannabe porn star?

The story of the first mail order bride to become first lady?

The story of the last occupant of the East Wing?

Where to find Dick Tracey's haberdasher?

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[–] madcaesar@lemmy.world 44 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

Breaking: Hitler's bride isn't popular

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[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 38 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Surely the only people buying tickets are teenagers who want to have sex in an empty theater?

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[–] vegeta@lemmy.world 37 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Sure. Humiliated all the way to the bank.

[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

And luckily she didn't even have to have sex with a monster this time to make these millions

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[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 32 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

UK cinema chain Vue's will premier "Melania" at 3:10 p.m. at its flagship Islington theater in London, but so far only one person has bought a ticket and just two tickets have sold for a 6 p.m. showing – undercutting President Donald Trump's hype claims

"MELANIA, the Movie, is a MUST WATCH," Trump posted Tuesday on Truth Social. "Get your tickets today — Selling out, FAST!"

Lmao, one person… probably a critic who has to watch it too. 

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[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 32 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Bbbbbbbbbbb@lemmy.world 37 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, its reported to be a whole 3 people in Londons "flagship" theater venue

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[–] daannii@lemmy.world 28 points 2 weeks ago

Let's be honest. The only people who are seeing it are people who want to make a video about how awful it was.

[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 26 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Who would have thought?!?!

Why wouldn't anyone want to know the story of a vapid, valueless, and brainless model who married a mentally deranged piece of shit who wants people like her (Not "born RIGHT-WISE") violently removed from "his" country? MADNESS

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[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I almost feel bad for her, then I remind myself she's a terrible person

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[–] fox2263@lemmy.world 25 points 2 weeks ago

Honestly do not understand why it’s in cinemas. At least if it was streaming only they could just lie about it’s viewership figures and stick it at no 1

[–] Heikki2@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I hope they both got refunds

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[–] kalistia@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

On the movie's (real) IMDb page

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[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 22 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Rotten tomatoes reviews... totally not bots.

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[–] LoafedBurrito@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago

The world would rather watch paint dry than watch a documentary about a pedophile protector like melania. Glad it failed miserably.

[–] abbiistabbii@piefed.blahaj.zone 18 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Why would anyone in the UK want to see that film. Even the biggest right wing flagshaggers don't seem to care. 

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[–] madde@feddit.org 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

UK cinema chain Vue's will premier "Melania" at 3:10 p.m. at its flagship Islington theater in London, but so far only one person has bought a ticket

So Barron is in London right now?

“We licensed the film for one reason and one reason only — because we think customers are going to love it," the Amazon MGM Studios spokesperson said.

Karoline Leavitt has got a new job then I reckon?

[–] ssfckdt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 2 weeks ago

UK is doing Denmark and the rest of Europe a solid here. They're being the black cop at the Capitol that baits the MAGAs away from the congressional chambers.

[–] matlag@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 weeks ago

And next a documentary about the non-release of the Epstein files…

[–] Gammelfisch@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The loser, Nigel bought one of 3 tickets.

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