this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2026
631 points (99.7% liked)

Not The Onion

19509 readers
1781 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] jacktherippah@lemmy.world 6 points 7 hours ago

Toilet Paper USA

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 6 points 10 hours ago

It must be so sad to belong to the drab old culture MAGA idolizes, and watch the entire world just move the fuck on constantly, not giving a single shit, when you think that football-and-Jesus culture is some kind of temple eternal.

[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 14 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Watching 300 lb men huddle in spandex for 4 hours not gay, but 2 halftime music acts are way too far beyond the rainbow...

[–] Joeffect@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago

They even touch each other on the butts...

[–] AlexLost@lemmy.world 40 points 15 hours ago (8 children)

How gay is that?! They need to have their own party, because they aren't welcome at the regular one. Such cry babies with their safe spaces and delicate feelings.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] WanderWisley@lemmy.world 18 points 15 hours ago

I’ll make my own halftime show, with pedos, and mar-a-Lago face!

[–] theblurstoftimes@leminal.space 7 points 12 hours ago

They would know all about what gay is I guess.

[–] Reygle@lemmy.world 24 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

Nazis sure are some fragile people.

[–] Bakkoda@lemmy.world 7 points 15 hours ago

Usually if a group of people spend several years calling everything a snowflake... Yeah it do be like that

[–] nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca 4 points 15 hours ago

There's a very high probability that TP's half time show is going to be way gayer than the real one, just unintentionally.

[–] switcheroo@lemmy.world 39 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

When a bunch of conservatives get together, they crash grindr, so... Yeah.

[–] hector@lemmy.today 15 points 17 hours ago

Every accusation of theirs is a confession. Every single one. No exceptions.

[–] brianary@lemmy.zip 44 points 21 hours ago (7 children)

Conservatives don't assimilate into American society.

[–] IronBird@lemmy.world 13 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

really have to stop calling them conservatives, they're regressives clearly

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] BetaBlake@lemmy.world 14 points 20 hours ago

They're whole ethos is antisocial. They are obstinent toddlers who stomp their feet and fold their arms and think it's funny to make other people mad.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] ThanksObama@sh.itjust.works 6 points 14 hours ago

Sponsored by Grindr!

[–] Nomorereddit@lemmy.today 6 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I mean superpower has sucked (to me) forever, so imm skip the game, the halftime show and the alternate halftime show.

While im dissenting, I also think every publicly financed football stadium should share 5% of profits with its host city. And some of that should be set aside to bulldoze the stadium when it reaches its end of life.

[–] btsax@reddthat.com 7 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

FYI the Superbowl is a great time to go to the grocery store. I mark it on my calendar so I don't forget

[–] Nomorereddit@lemmy.today 2 points 10 hours ago

Genius....Maybe i hit up home depot while im out. Ty btsax!

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 3 points 12 hours ago

That is such a good idea

[–] pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 73 points 1 day ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (4 children)

Every time I read TPUSA. I think Toilet Paper USA. Not complaining, because that's what it is basically

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Gammelfisch@lemmy.world 7 points 16 hours ago

They'll be exchanging Nazi salutes while reading the bible. Fuck them.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 5 points 15 hours ago

Conservative Fragility

[–] limelight79@lemmy.world 139 points 1 day ago (10 children)

Do they know that football involves a bunch of men grabbing each other?

load more comments (10 replies)
[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago

Long as they don't preempt the real show, let them have their little pity party

[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 100 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (13 children)

I would say the superbowl isn't gay enough. The half-time show should be all 24 players having an orgy on the field. That'd certainly get me to watch the dumb foosball game.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 points 9 hours ago

usually happens in the lockeroom.

load more comments (12 replies)
[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 3 points 14 hours ago

funny they're just going to show the cpac footage and generate AI hosts to talk about how bad the democrats are.

1000002921

[–] clav64@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

Featuring the return of R Kelly, performing his hit "Trapped in the Closet"

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 3 points 15 hours ago

I thought they don't like politics in football. If they don't like it, then leave.

[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 37 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I can wait to find out what loser right wing celebs they haul out to combat the wokeness. 😂

[–] CatZoomies@lemmy.world 39 points 1 day ago

Kid Rock instantly materialises

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 4 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 3 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Not yet.

Bad Bunny has also expressed publicly that he views his own sexuality as fluid. In a 2020 interview with the Los Angeles Times, he stated, "At the end of the day, I don't know if in 20 years I will like a man. One never knows in life. But at the moment I am heterosexual and I like women."

From his wiki page. It does sound like he's very supportive of LGBT people and their struggles though.

Don't know much of him beyond what's on his Wikipedia page, only heard like 2 or 3 songs, but overall he seems like a very decent dude and conservatives can't handle that lol

[–] eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 12 hours ago

Ok that is an extremely fucking based way for a cishet guy to describe himself.

load more comments
view more: next ›