Thank you for including us!
Sincerely,
An Illinois Resident
this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2026
621 points (97.0% liked)
Eh Buddy Hoser
833 readers
9 users here now
Shitposting from Canada / Turtle Island.
Take off ya hoser!
founded 11 months ago
MODERATORS
Sadly the part of Illinois South of I80 would prefer to not be included. Source: me. Grew up there, have some relatives that still live there. The number of times I've heard them refer to themselves as Forgottentoian is to many.
I grew up in southern Illinois as well. Can confirm.
That's where all of my most racist relatives live.
As a Colorado resident, all of these maps are bugging me.
Sorry, but Colorado can’t join because otherwise we’d have border gore. Exclaves are too messy, what can you do. 🤷🏼♂️
So what you're telling me is that Colorado is going to have to expand our northern borders in order to connect.
Or you could go west. Depends on if you want to fight cowboys in Wyoming and Nazis in Idaho, or Mormons in Utah and the mafia in Nevada.
I just got here though. I'll probably try to convert the Cowboys. I'd like to wage war with the Nazis in Idaho because, well... obvious reasons, but they're too far away. The Mormons only get me to Nevada and then I'd have to deal with the Mafia after that. North seems the way to go... also, the fewest people that way. New Mexico will join us, they're pretty blue also.
No way, mafia first. Business booms in blue places of tolerance where all are welcome and not well represented. Everyone in a position of power is a crook in red land
Coming out of Colorado Mafia can't be first no matter what given the options provided. Mafia is second at best due to the Mormons in Utah.
If the Mafia turns Nevada blue, then maybe west is the way to go.
Shouldn't Alberta be part of Jesusland?
Shhh, we need oil!
This Canadian says fuck no unless we export all the MAGA and purge all the handguns.
I've been in parts of rural Oregon before. They grow them dumb and mean there. Some of the worst people I've ever met in my life were in rural Oregon.
Way different than weird Portland.
Rural Oregon is where the US Nazi Party is based... so... that checks out.
Californian here.
It's the same with California. Once you get out of population centers it doesn't take too long before you're in "I Fuck My Cousin" territory.
I think that might be true for basically every state. Rural areas are not that different across the country.
Dumb and mean are the median traits of MAGA
load more comments
(2 replies)
As someone who lives in Wisconsin I'm thankful for bordering Illinois and Minnesota. Otherwise I don't think we would've made the cut to get into the USC
load more comments
(1 replies)
Jesusland
CSAL: the Christian State of American Liberty, home of Y'all Queda
Californian here.
Where do I sign?
I've heard Jesus Land is a fucking hellhole
Unironically, please? I don't wanna be part of Jesusland anymore
What is this bullshit. AZ, NM, CO, NV do not belong in Jesusland
Half the joke of these maps is looking at State Of X and thinking its some kind of monolith, as though Pensytucky, Staten Island, southern Illinois, and Silicon Valley want anything to do with a Mark Carney government.
load more comments
(1 replies)
I thought it was pretty appropriate that Jesusland was keeping Sin City. It's like Gilead having Jezebels for the officers.
They only care about the appearance of piety. A lot of "decent Christians" live double lives, especially those who have power.
Shouldn't Alberta be part of Jesusland?
Gilead*
Southwest Canada reporting in. I'll admit we're flirting with joining Denmark.
Sorry.
load more comments
(1 replies)
I had dinner with Jesus yesterday and he said he does not approve of this.
Count me in, Illinois fucking hates Trump. Well, at least the useful part up north of I-88.
load more comments
(2 replies)
As a resident of illinois, I am honored to be included.
As a resident of a neighboring state, I'm crossing the border.
As an American, this is accurate. Include Hawaii in the blue and Alaska in the Red.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Stop lumping everyone in neat little buckets. Even in the most red of states you’d be abandoning 40% of voters to these fascists. This there are a lot of non voters.
And there are plenty of fascists in blue states and Canada.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Jesus would abandon those idiots within a New York second and take his name with him. Rename it to The Fucknut Confederation.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Damn, sometimes I forget Trump is serious about Greenland and 51st State Canada. Fun times 💀
view more: next ›