Feel bad for the Europeans.
this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2026
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Eh Buddy Hoser
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Shitposting from Canada / Turtle Island.
Take off ya hoser!
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What happened to Mexico?
Aliette De Bodart, The cycle of Xuxa (alternative history of North America).
I would not hoist the bible belt on Mexico. They don't deserve that.
I like this better. We’re part of Canada! Wooo!
California Republic already has a flag, but we can replace the red star with a maple leaf.
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The EU and particularly Mexico drew a short stick here
At least Mexico gets oil. All the EU gets is Disneyland.
The EU already has a Disneyland (in Paris); they'd be getting Disney World, which is honestly way cooler
It's an occupation zone. We fully intend on giving it back once we brought them democracy.
If you’re going to take Wisconsin and Michigan, you should get Chicago too, at the very least
Guess I better start learning Spanish, or move east and learn German.
Does this mean the Canadians like New England and the Northwest?
New England and the Pacific Northwest are the most "Canadian" parts of America.
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That's... optimistic. The notion that China wouldn't get the biggest slice is downright ridiculous.
Yes, please.
college humor predicted this map.
¡Viva Mexico!
What happens to the Toledo strip? Will we side with the EU or Canada?
EU. Didn't be thinking you can just slide in with your Ohio garbage.
(Just kidding.... Ohio is ok.)
((Just kidding... As a lifelong resident of SE Michigan, Ohio can suck it. 😄))