I’ll jump up, pump my legs and air swim up to the top of a tree.
this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2026
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Literally lifting myself up by my bootstraps. Fuck waiting for the lift.
I'm gonna get a stupidly-hot wife despite being a fat layabout piece of shit with a clear neurological condition.
I guess that's not really physics related, so I'll also add "gracefully float towards delicious food on a wafting scent trail". I could toss a burger down a canyon and use the scent trail to lower myself down safely. Like a Portal gun, but for fat layabout pieces of shit with clear neurological conditions 👍
I'm going to walk off a cliff with my eyes closed and see how far I can get before I fall.
Then that road runner is going to get whats coming to it.
IRL Rocket Jumping.
Probably still gonna hurt, but not anywhere near as much, and my body will not be, you know, liquified/dismembered, just comically singed.
Run off a cliff and never look down = flight.
Also have an enemy draw a really cool place on a wall and run through it.
I'm lasooing the moon closer, so I can climb on and get away from this place.
I'll start running but build up speed by running in place first. Also that will have a distinct sound effect.
I'll try killing this mosquito with a flamethrower... It keeps buzzing in my ears, going away, coming back, going away...
You could do that now!
Run out on a branch with a saw and watch the world fall down as I cut through the branch behind me.
I live in America, so I'm digging a hole lime Bugs Bunny and traveling to anywhere else after taking a wrong turn at Albuquerque.
Run 10,000 miles horizontally before gravity starts taking into effect.