That's how you get a 10% active US Military discount.
this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2026
427 points (97.8% liked)
Not The Onion
21041 readers
841 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
ICE needs them here at home
Those buttholes have never been touched. They probably barely even wipe
Even if they do wipe, their buttholes would still only ever have been touched by shit.
That’s a bizarre string of info. Hope the soldiers get some fun and the butt plug lady gets some extra sales.
They could be flipping them for money in culturally repressed markets, pranking each other with a small but(t) sensitive item, spousal and personal use.. fun at extreme scale lol.
Whatever it is, even as boringly significant as an address audit, there could be more to the story, and I for one would scroll that article.
I’m sure an influencer somewhere that will be currently trying to drop ship these things with the marketing of local sky god endorsed straight soldier plug.
The best part is they aren't even the ones sending them. They dont even ship to that country.
I assumed they were sending them to APO addresses and that's how the military knew.
I’ve seen this article with at least 5 different verbs now. “Stunned”, “gobsmacked”, yadda yadda yadda
This Lemmy commenter S L A M M E D journalists with a snarky comeback - you will be surprised to find out why
Apparently they are concerned about soldiers stationed in other nations where sex toys are illegal getting in legal trouble. The original article is kinda funny.
other nations where sex toys are illegal
It is illegal to own more than 6 sex toys in Texas:
Texas Penal Code 43.23 (f) states: “A person who possesses six or more obscene devices or identical or similar obscene articles is presumed to possess them with intent to promote the same.” Elsewhere, the code defines the devices as “a dildo or artificial vagina, designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.”
this is so funny, why 6 in particular? they went like "a good Christian can have five dildos, but six??? Six is just obscene!"
Lol... most ironic use ever of, "penal code". (Thanks for giving me a laugh and making me feel 12 again)
Yeah Texas is crazy. Last I heard there were still sex shops there though. Can't remember how they work around it.
MOLON LABE
Thank goodness people only have two hands...
They are not concerned about illegally attacking those nations, though.
They're not attacking Bahrain. Or other countries where the US has military bases. Those are the places that the US attacks from.
This doesn't matter, because if you're a soldier getting things shipped to you, it goes to an APO box that then gets sorted internally to go wherever that soldier is stationed. You'd have to stop shipping to military members entirely.
Seems like they could just restrict their people from ordering butt plugs, what with having the ability to order them to do things.
Is that a first amendment infringement...? They can tell their soldiers to stop buying it but how are you going to tell the owner stop selling?
Lol you must be new to 2026.
It's only january; we're all new to 2026.
It's still the DoD. He didn't legally change the name. Stop humoring them.
That's like the one name change they did I actually like. Way more honest
Thank you for your service.
I'd call it the "Department of Defense" until congress changes the name.
Gee, I was expecting those hunks to be all tops.
Gotta boost morale somehow
She should tell them to butt out.