Trump says only Jesus can win enough votes to get elected speaker of the House, but some House Republicans aren't so sure He could pull it off.
elect the rotting corpse of ronald reagan, it would be so funny
this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2023
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chapotraphouse
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I think the funniest outcome is Trump saying "I want a loyalty oath for at least 217 votes and then I'll go to Washington and be the speaker."
There can only be none doesn't work at all from a storytelling perspective.
God I hope at least one person votes for Jesus on one round.
A reporter runs up to Representative Doofus (R - North Dakota)...
"Representative Doofus - who did you vote for?"
"Jesus."
"Um... Is that some kind of code?"
"I wouldn't call it a 'code' exactly but if you wanna get saved - he's the one."
"I'm sorry - you voted for Jesus Christ?"
"You got wax in your ears? The Son of God. The Redeemer of all Mankind. They don't teach anything good in school nowadays."
"Well, what happens if 217 Republican representatives vote for Jesus?"
"My vote was a protest vote... But your question is a good one. A very good one. I don't rightly know what happens. But I'm gonna pray on it. The Messiah Will Come Again..." He's looking through her. He's glassy-eyed. She moves back a step instinctually. He's creepy like a sex pest. He's talking to himself. "Soon? Could it be soon?"
She decides to walk away and interview another rep. Reps are a dime a dozen and that guy is a wacko she needs to be very careful of from now on.
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The song in my head doesn't match my joke at all but here it is anyway - The Messiah Will Come Again.