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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Affectionate_Bid6123 on 2026-01-14 11:53:06+00:00.
Campbell’s Chunky Potato & Bacon Soup Is Delicious and Should Come With a Biohazard Warning
Ate a can of Campbell’s Chunky Potato & Bacon Soup for lunch today and I want to be very clear about two things:
- It is delicious. Creamy, thick, potato perfection with salty bacon goodness. Proper comfort food. I felt safe. I felt loved. I felt nourished.
- My digestive system has since declared open warfare on the surrounding environment.
Since finishing this soup, I have been farting at a rate that is medically impressive and spiritually concerning. These are not quick little puffs. These are wet-sounding, soul-rattling, paint-peeling gas events that arrive unannounced and refuse to leave. The smell has layers. Notes of sulfur. Regret. Something almost metallic. Like a rotting potato met a campfire and died angry.
Every fart feels like it should require paperwork. I genuinely paused at one point and wondered if I needed to seek medical attention or alert the authorities. I am afraid to cough. I am afraid to bend over. I am afraid of myself.
That being said… I regret nothing.
The soup was worth it. I would eat it again. I will eat it again. But next time I’ll do it alone, with the windows open, no witnesses, and possibly a priest on standby.
10/10 flavour
–5/10 air quality
TL;DR soup tastes good, farts bad.