I can't quite identify the point at which this turns from real to parody
this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2026
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Schooner is the last real one I think.
The Flettner is real; Maybe it's added lower just to blur the line.
Not on a sailing ship though.
Looks like a sailing ship to me…
They rotate not by harvesting the wind but by pushing against it. I.e. are motorized.
correct
Chaos rig? Sounds heretical
kite rig
There actually exist some boats that use kites exclusively for wind propulsion. This is used to save fuel, and most of the propulsion comes from motors. The kite is controlled by a computer.
That example might also count as a mastless rig from the comic.
Some people have also added kite-style sails to traditional sailboats, but I don't know much about this.
Kites are more complicated than spinnakers which are already "fishing junk out of the water with extra steps" complicated. It is promising for solar electric boats, both as backup power, and voyage power boost, but even if they are promised as autopiloted flight, there needs to be a lot of experience in how to use them and when to bring them down ahead of weather, and lulls are big problems. There are commercial ship models, but I'm unaware of success stories with customer satisfaction.
What about the null rig where you have zero masts and sails?
Then its a displacement hull power boat.
Bunk beds! There’s so much room for activities!
Aren't all of these just mimic octopus?
what's your passive perception
Could the keel rig work in principle?
I forget what they are called, but there is basically a parachute on a rope that gets dropped into fast deep water currents to tow boats.
That's called a sea anchor.
Since sailing requires you to push against something (the water) if that same something is the thing blowing in your sails it will just push you without really giving you much control. Instead if the currenents are a lot stronger deeper down it might work but then there's nothing keeping the sail downright(?) meaning without a comparatively heavy (because water is heavy) weight at the bottom of your sail you will likely capsize or more likely just be at an angle where you're not accelerating much.
Overall it seems at the very least impractical.
I think the only similar thing that would work is shooting a sea anchor in the direction you want to go from a deck gun, then pulling it back in.
I think you just invented the paddle!
Yes but it's an American paddle. With guns.
We could call it a Yank!
I'd call it Yeetle
How about a Throwoar?
Missing the mimic octopus.
The fastest sailboat is kind of the offset rig:
I bet it's even faster if you reduce the weight by combining it with the deckhand obliterator!
Vertical catamaran is genius
What do you call an 12 foot long 2x12 stabbed with a stripper pole and an electric blanket?
I wish I knew enough about sailing to know which of these is a joke