this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2026
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Political Humor

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[–] CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world 67 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I think in the spirit of celebrating kind and decent human beings, people from all walks of life should come together with hopes and prayers that this motherfucker broke something and it hurts for the rest of his life.

[–] NichEherVielleicht@feddit.org 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social 17 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Gold melts at 1°c? That doesn't sound right.

[–] Opisek@piefed.blahaj.zone 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It clearly says .064, so slightly ABOVE 1°C. Reading comprehension people!!

[–] NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social 8 points 1 month ago

Ok, I'll set my forge to 0.064° higher for optimal melting.

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Probably German. They swap decimals and commas

[–] NoForwadSlashS@piefed.social 8 points 1 month ago

ich_iel must be leaking

[–] SlurryBravo 7 points 1 month ago

Yeah, that is supposed to be a comma. 1,064°C

[–] solomonschuler@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

In other countries the period (.) is used in replace of the comma (,) to express values larger than 1000. So, 1.064 really is 1064°C

[–] BeefandSquints@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 month ago

At the very least, watching him run into the SUV and driving off was hilarious. Knowing that these really are just small insecure losers, certainly takes some of the edge off. They are certainly a n unprecedented threat, but at least they're fucking dorks.

[–] negativenull@piefed.world 37 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] NichEherVielleicht@feddit.org 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] NichEherVielleicht@feddit.org 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Thx. Correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't it be translated to noises?

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That would be Hammergeräuschen.

[–] NichEherVielleicht@feddit.org 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

But hammergeräusch would be hammer noise.
And hammergeräusche would be hammer noises?

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So hammergeräuschen is actually hammer noiseses.

[–] trollercoaster@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

But what case is that? And what would be the correct case...?

Now write that 100 times or I'll cut your balls off

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 month ago

Sad hammertime was the theme for our freshman school dance.

This was seconds before the agent shot everyone with a camera around him for hurting his feelings.

[–] lurch@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It reminded me of Matrix, so I did a horrible thing on my phone. Apologies.

montage of trinity from matrix shooting the agent who actually slipped on ice

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago

I like it so I'll allow it. <3

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 1 points 1 month ago

If Matrix was here, he’d laugh too.

[–] blitzen@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think the capitalization hides the clear intent.

Even ice hates ICE.

[–] lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think the joke works better when it's ambiguous

[–] blitzen@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Eh, I see what you’re saying, but hatred of frozen water isn’t as prevalent as hated of ICE, so “even ICE hates ice” doesn’t make quite enough sense.

A better joke on that side would be “snowflakes can’t even handle a little ice.”

[–] athatet@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 month ago

It makes sense that ICE would hate ice if it make them fall on they ass.

[–] leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Here's hoping it broke something significant and the vet or its fellow livestock had to put it down...

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago

I'm wishing for a skull fracture. Although brain damage is what he's already is suffering.

[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They promptly shot the frozen water in self defense against its act of domestic terrorism.

[–] captain_oni@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 month ago

Wouldn't surprise me if trump declared war on black ice at this point. Ordering his gestapo to stab/shoot at it.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I love how this picture clearly indicates that we have at least three different angles on this.

If you could get the other photographs as well we could probably output a 3D model.

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Kristi "I'm not a garden gnome" Noeme "It is clear that our brave and intelligent federal law enforcement agent face a new and terrifying threat. The the treat of ice. Ice and all weather are domestic terrorists that are being propped up by the radical left of Iran, Venezuela, Greenland, and more. President Trumpie has given us new instructions in semi readable crayon that we are to encourage global warming. The higher temperatures will stop ice from forming and attacking our brave lil' federal agents."

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago

shes an expert of shooting animals in a head, thats why she was chosen for this job.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 4 points 1 month ago

one of these days, the ice will be slippery enough to cause accidental deaths, or permanent injuries.

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

Lol, did everyone laugh?

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 3 points 1 month ago

Gravity loves everyone equally.... Does that mean gravity is god?

[–] Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.org 2 points 1 month ago

I wish that wasn't a camera.