Nice, look into valetudo if you haven't already :)
this post was submitted on 11 Jan 2026
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love the stickers. looks like a 5 gallon bucket lid though 🤣
Your wife did a good work. "Don't tread on me" was a fine adding
Also "I don't work for you" (scary).
This would be a little retro and you would have to design/print the sticker, but a "prepared for 2000" reference would be funny imo
I have a "Designed for Windows 98" at work which I'll slap on it.
There are definitely shops online that sell recreations of those stickers, and very convincing recreations of the old Made for Windows 95/98/ME etc stickers.
If my workplace hadn't explicitly told us not to put stickers on our laptops in a way that I can't pretend I missed, I'd absolutely have one on my work laptop.
Are there any cloud-free vacuuming robots still available?
Our current one is now 5+ years old, so may be in need of a replacement someday soon.
Was already hard to get a cloud-free one even then.
Matic does all its processing on board, and can be setup to use Bluetooth only. It’s also the best damn robot vacuum/mop I’ve ever used.
This sounds like an excellent company. Watch them get bought out by the usual assholes and enshittified.
The good news it that the vacuum will work if that does happen, unlike roombas that don’t work if not connected back to their command and control servers.
$1200 though. Looks neat.
I think my first roomba vacuum was $700 and my braava mop was $350, so the price isn’t that unreasonable. And Igladly paid extra for the privacy.
I'm incredibly happy with my Dreame robot that has been de-clouded with valetudo.
I've de-clouded a few of them for friends and family and everyone has been very happy with them.
I recently got a Dreame with the intention of eventually getting Valetudo on there. Seems pretty overwhelming though to make the little breakout board
They have a telegram channel for sharing the breakout boards.
Yeah I bought a premade one instead of making it myself. Specifically this one: https://www.tindie.com/products/scacht/dreame-pcb-breakout-for-valetudo/
As someone else said, Valetudo may be the answer. Lots of compatible robots are on sale. I got a compatible MOVA one a few months ago and flashed it. Works super well and gives almost all of the features of their original cloud. It’s on a separate vlan and eventually I’ll add it to home assistant once I have it set up again.
It also works without and internet connection or map. I can just put it into a new area, push a button and it does a vacuum then mop clean. Super happy with it.
Out of the box, not really, a lot of the more clever navigation stuff (or even not so clever stuff, like no-go zones) seems to need a server somewhere (at least on my Roborock)
However take a look at the supported list of Valetudo, it's an after market solution for decoupling robovacs from their clouds. Mine isn't supported yet, but I'll probably switch over to using it when it does
Read that in another post and think it good it is an option.
But, honestly, I prefer the robots to reduce the work I have to do, not be a source of additional work.
And also not to spy on me out of the box...
I don't think so. There are some (most?) you can operate without the cloud but they'll only do the basic "drive straight till there's an obstacle, rotate, try again". All the mapping logic and memory is in the cloud.
Something called Matic was mentioned in a comment above. Any knowledge on that?
Seems to be what you're looking for, with local processing, and your data staying within your home Wi-Fi.
It costs >$1200 so it's way out of my price range.
Would be enough.
It's basically what the Roombas we have been using for the past 20 years or so have been doing.
Totally fine.
What's with the boomer humor stickers?
We're 30 year old boomers. We named it Frau von Sachse-Lotte.
You think it’s missing a 6 7 sticker?
Might want to get rid of the “don’t tread on me” sticker before someone thinks you are a Jan 6th supporter.
It is funny in this context tho because its about literally not stepping on it. Dont let peoples assumptions keep your from doing funny shit.
Someone who's in my house?
In Germany?
Yep. Coming over just to misjudge you
I think it's hilarious