I had to double-check I'm not reading the onion lol
this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2026
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onion is basically just unbiased news at this point, and not satire.
Me, every single time.
What a big baby.
Hannity asking the hard hitting questions as usual :rolleyes:
Nobel PEACE prize?
Awarded for Outstanding contributions to peace: arms reduction, international cooperation, and organisations contributing to peace, and human rights contributions to peace
Solved or started?
negated by the ones he started.
And the fact that he didn't end any
How the fuck do you stop a quarter of a war?
Serious question: what wars is he even CLAIMING he stopped and what involvement, regardless of how small, did he actually have in them?
Because if if I had to guess, there's 2 potential truths:
- He just pulled a random fucking number out of his ass and started spouting it off because he's a narcissistic egomaniac who believes if he said the words they're as good as true.
- There were 8 wars somewhere that ended, and if anyone from the U.S. government sent an email to anyone else in that country then this rotten, corrupt asshole thinks he can take credit.
But I legitimately want to know what their claim is.
I have no idea how credible this site is.
https://www.factcheck.org/2025/08/addressing-trumps-claims-about-ending-multiple-wars/
Trump has claimed credit for settling conflicts between India and Pakistan, Israel and Iran, Egypt and Ethiopia, Thailand and Cambodia, Serbia and Kosovo, Rwanda and the Democratic Republic of Congo, and Armenia and Azerbaijan.
Where's the last war and a quarter though?
Oceania, Eurasia and Eastasia.
He keeps claiming different numbers. That article is from a few months ago, too.
I guess the better question is what is a quarter war?
A quarter war is fought in two bitsz I guess.
I'll award him the Knob-end Piss Prize because hes a complete fucking loser with a special shoutout to all the scum pieces of shit that voted for him.
Ok but he’s gotta go get it. It’s in the asteroid belt
Volcano would be cheaper.
I feel like if we just picked a random crackhead in front of a liquor store to be president the world would be better off
maybe he can share it with putin. I mean and think of all the wars he hasn't started yet that he has thought about. I mean greenland, canada, mexico, panama, columbia, brazil, oh well pretty much the rest of central and south america. I mean thats so many wars he has so far stopped.
Give him 2