In all fairness that message is seriously taking the piss and is hilarious.
this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2026
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So much so that it probably was the inspiration for Murderface’s planet piss.
Nobody talks like that unless they’re talking to a baby. And even then it’s over the top.
Oh yeah, but the fact that it's on an official NS information board on a train station - the kind of place were you usually just get serious announcements in somewhat formal language - and actually informing travellers of real problems with the train they're waiting for, gives it quite a lot more punch than it merelly being overboard baby talk.
Think about it this way: it's like a normally very serious customer support person suddenly decides to inform customers of a problem with the product and does so using the most ridiculous baby talk.
The language is funny and then the context elevates it to hilarious.
On topic. The train network (as well as most other modes of transport) are collapsing right now due to the snow. Pls help, we're not built for winter. Today we had 5-10 centimeters of snow. How can anyone survive these extreme conditions?!
5-10 cm? Like that's what we get some to before a dd and a dart. You can shove if the l that in about the same time the coffee machine brews a pot.
5-10 centimeters
What is that in furlongs, for us Americans?
Not sure about furlongs, but it's about a 10th or a 20th of an M16A4 assault rifle (when aiming at the sky), or I guess about one or two McDonald's quarter pounders stacked on top of eachother.
That's 0.000249 - 0.000499 furlongs, but it's probably more helpful to know that it's 0.875-1.75 nails.
That's a penis.
It's exactly 50-100 millimeter and 0,5-1 decimeter
why are the dutch like this
Why aren't you?
Too much trauma from being invaded by people on boats, not enough trauma from being invaded by people on land.
Being that that’s largely legible, how much of that is actually Dutch? I assume the first bit isn’t, but the second bit… genuine tossup how much of that is, for someone entirely unfamiliar with the language.
It's Dutch with a few cute changes, I think. My Dutch is very weak, but I believe it'd be:
we [zijn] [heel] hard aan t werk om dit te [maken], [mischien] kan je beter [fietsen]
which gives a rough literal translation of something like:
we are very hard to the work for this to do, maybe can you better cycle
i.e. "we're working hard to sort this out, but maybe it'd be better if you cycled"
"We are very hard on the work on this making, maybe can you beter bike," is how a wise made cat would say it. But if you not the Netherlands tale speak, get you there an aneurysm from.
So is that like, ancient Dutch "icanhaz" language?!
The text in the post is very much like the i can haz language yes, my response to it wasn't much though.
People in the Netherlands are relatively good at speaking English, but there is a large group of people who know the words but not the grammar. Those people might say the previous sentence as follows.
Netherlandish are best good in English, but some know the words good but the grammar not.
So now there is this secret language that people who speak both languages well can understand but people who only speak either can't really comprehend, like a inside joke really.
There used to be this meme website that put sentences like that on stock photos, but the sentence about the broken trains wouldn't be there. There it would be a stock photo of someone next to a train with a speech bubble saying 'The train goes not today so go but biking' or something.
A truth like a cow
Basically all of it is normal Dutch...
The first bit is basically equivalent to 'whoopsie-daisy'. Just 'stukkie wukkie' isn't normal but an alteration of the verb 'stuk' similar to how 'oeps' is altered to 'oepsie woepsie' at the start. The rest is pretty much normal except for some internet slang (e.g. 'mss' is shorthand for 'misschien').
"sijn" instead of "zijn", "heul" is an accented version of "heel". And there's a w in fietsen to UwU'ify it. And maken has been shortened to make
ᚩᛈᛊᛁᛖ ᚹᚩᛈᛊᛁᛖ ᛞᛖ ᛏᚱᛖᛁᚾ ᛁᛊ ᛊᛏᚢᚲᚲᛁᛖ ᚹᚢᚲᚲᛁᛖ ᚹᛁᛃ ᛉᛁᛃᚾ ᚺᛖᚢᛚ ᚺᚨᚱᛞ ᚨᚨᚾ ᛏ ᚹᛖᚱᚲ ᛟᛗ ᛞᛁᛏ ᛏᛖ ᛗᚨᚲᛖ ᛗᛊᛊ ᚲᚨᚾ ᛃᛖ ᛒᛖᛏᛖᚱ ᚠᚹᛁᛖᛏᛊᛖᚾ ᛟᚹᛟ
There are a few northern Germanic languages that are deceptive to English readers. They almost read correctly in English, if one assumes the speaker is drunk. Sadly, they can also give the wrong impression. The spoken version tends to be harder to handle in this way.
Clearly, there must be a name for languages that share this sort of property.
in Germany we call it WortEnglischklingtabernichtEnglisch
Germanicfest?