this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2023
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Imagine Mario as one of the generic action-guy Chris Pratt roles lmao
NoA is going to have to give Mario angry eyebrows, too.
Kirby is more intimidating when he looks happy. 
mfw i eated ur god
stoic serious hero
bing bing wahoo man?
Well, he does yeet his best friend and loyal steed into bottomless chasms with nary a frown. Kid from Shadow of the Colossus could learn a lot from our cartwheeling student of Seneca
I wish i had the free time required to be angry about everything.
stoic serious hero
:mario-finger: Mario exhibits the classic traits of the philosophical stoic when he crushes turts. Perchance.
You can't just say "perchance"
Can't I? Perchance.
So how do they feel about crossdressing Link?
uncomfortable in the crotch area.
probably
Fellas, is it gay to be a cartoon goofball?
the Big N
You can't even speak its name awoooooh. The big N conspiracy to turn the character models gay.
"Big N" sounds like how Tucker Carlson describes the entertainment industry in private.
The last sight of many a commie
edit: jfc there's an emote for everything
Mario is peak alpha male. He bing bing whaoos without caring what lesser beta males think. Drives a go kart. Girlfriend is a princess (MONARCHIST?) Nintendo wants to strip him of his alphaness.
I want to believe this is satire.
the lack of name in the screenshot and the phrasing of it makes me think so
They even got rid of his famous catchphrase, "Do-a your duty, and leave-a the rest to fate"
Stoic serious mario is such a good bit lmao
guys the new game is chibi that's all that's going on it's literally just a thing they did to all of the characters in this one game
it's gay to wear hats now
Stoic serious hero
This is Baby Mario erasure.
That's funny I was literally watching the trailer earlier mildly impressed that Nintendo gave Mario such animated and varied animations while running and hopping around. He looks so determined while doing the Naruto run
I want to believe its satire but
Literally everyone: Wow finally a new art style for a 2d mario after years of the New Super Mario Bros aesthetic, looks great! This fella: They're feminizing Mario!!!!
OK, I will compare them: 
I literally cannot tell which game is which. Only the top right looks different