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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/FrogStinky on 2025-12-19 22:21:06+00:00.
I tried to become a “super-efficient” buddy for my girlfriend last night using some exotic massage oil for her painful shoulders, but I severely underestimated the bottle's flow in the dark and poured enough to lube a car engine. The moment I shifted my weight to massage her shoulders, I hit an oil slick on the floor and launched across the room not just a slip, crashing directly into the nightstand. My girlfriend panic-jumped off the bed to help me, hit the same slick, and wiped out right on top of me. We spent the next ten minutes naked, bruised, and helpless, army-crawling toward the hallway carpet.
TL;DR: After pouring enough oil on floor, we were literally too greasy to stand up, looking less like lovers and more like two naked panicked, buttered seals.