this post was submitted on 19 Dec 2025
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I'll go first. My ex cheated on me with a dude, (I'm les, she's bi,) brought home chlamydia and bed bugs, then after 13 years of no contact, texts me randomly to try and pull me into an MLM pyramid scheme.

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[–] DaniNatrix@leminal.space 7 points 36 minutes ago

My mentally ill ex husband, who kept a heroin and serial cheating habit quiet for over a year before I put the pieces together and kicked him out, created a website to make it look like he'd started a successful company and sent it to my friends and family members asking them to forward it to me since I had successfully blocked any form of direct contact with me.

It was pretty sad. You could tell that it was hastily thrown together, probably while he was high/manic. It also resulted in a large chunk of the people he initially sent it to blocking him as well, which likely increased his isolation etc.

Word to the wise, friends, you cannot save people from themselves, no matter how much you want to or how hard you try. Not everyone with mental illness and/or addiction issues will treat you badly, but, if they are not actively pursuing help on their own, there's not much to be done. Life is short, don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

[–] mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 38 minutes ago* (last edited 32 minutes ago) (1 children)

My wife’s ex… She wanted a dog, he didn’t. They compromised and got a dog. She broke it off shortly afterwards, because she realized he was a full blown mask-off white supremacist. She got the dog in the split, because she was the one who wanted him in the first place.

We got married like a decade later, and the dog died shortly afterwards. She had him blocked on everything, but sent a “hey just wanted to let you know the dog died” message through a mutual friend who still talked to him. He tried to use “grief processing” as an excuse to meet up for lunch. He was still a blatant white supremacist, but hadn’t seen any of our wedding photos because she had him blocked on everything. I’m not white. I offered to tag along to their meeting, just to see his the look on his face when I walked through the door and introduced myself as her husband.

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 1 points 43 seconds ago

I offered to tag along to their meeting, just to see his the look on his face when I walked through the door and introduced myself as her husband.

Oh man, that would have been priceless. The one-liners you could have used are endless:

  • "Wait, this is the guy who thinks he's the 'master race'? Seriously?!"
  • "Did you find out if he has to shop for his white robes in the children's section?"
[–] Kennystillalive@feddit.org 5 points 57 minutes ago (1 children)

Not an ex, but a ONS I had, got very upset it was just and ONS. She kept messaging me for days than nothing... 1 month later she sends me a vid how she is getting fucked and the message "look what you are missing out on".

[–] Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 1 points 8 minutes ago

😂 Oh my god. If my ex sent me a video of her getting fucked, you best believe I'm forwarding to anyone she knows.

[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 33 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Divorced over a decade, no contact since. My ex and I were in a stupid cult when we married, and apparently he still is. They don't allow remarriage unless one partner has "committed adultery." He wrote saying he sees online that I'm living with another dude, but can I confirm whether or not I've had sex?

I ignored it.

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 21 minutes ago) (1 children)

I don't blame you for ignoring it, but I read that as a request for confirmation whether they could remarry or not. I think I may have replied with the briefest confirmation possible and then refused any other contact.

[–] phdepressed@sh.itjust.works 4 points 59 minutes ago (1 children)

This is funnier and takes even less effort though.

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 2 points 56 minutes ago

Not sure how awful you would want to be in that situation, but with a lot more effort it could be even funnier without any words but a lewd picture instead, if your partner is up for it.

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 32 points 3 hours ago (3 children)

Well, if I’m being completely honest here, I’m the fucked up ex.

[–] halfeatenpotato@sh.itjust.works 2 points 34 minutes ago

We'll be the judge of that. What did you do?

[–] d00phy@lemmy.world 14 points 2 hours ago

Right, but what did you do?

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 15 points 3 hours ago

Well hey, on the bright side, admitting it is the first step!

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 32 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

My ex wife contacted me last year claiming she found out she had syphillis and had it the whole time we were married. I got checked, was fine, and started wondering if she was just trying to fuck with me.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 5 points 3 hours ago

Did she call you on April 1st?

If so, best prank ever.

[–] shittydwarf@piefed.social 38 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (5 children)

Caught her cheating, and when I broke up with her she refused and stabbed me with a fork. I have 4 little scars but one of the fork tines was slightly bent so they don't line up perfectly

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

I'm dad enough to suspect that my reaction to the stabbing would be "what the fork??"

And I'm 'tismo enough to seek corrective surgery to make sure the marks from the fork tines were in line.

[–] shittydwarf@piefed.social 1 points 57 minutes ago

The idea had crossed my mind once or twice, or extending the other three scars to match at the very least. But thankfully time has passed and they have faded now and it's hard to notice

[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

The scarring sounds funny, are you willing to share a pic of it?

[–] postnataldrip@lemmy.world 6 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

Please tell me she yelled "fork you"

[–] loie@lemmy.world 15 points 2 hours ago

one of the fork tines was slightly bent so they don't line up perfectly

That would irritate me more than getting forked in the first place.

[–] Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 13 points 3 hours ago (3 children)

I hope you filed a police report for assault and pressed charges. Looks like you dodged a bullet.

[–] shittydwarf@piefed.social 11 points 3 hours ago

Dodged the bullet, didn't see the fork hah. I was young so I just ignored it, although looking back maybe it would have been for the best to report it. Maybe she would have gotten the help she needed.

[–] BlameThePeacock@lemmy.ca 15 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Janx@piefed.social 5 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] BlackVenom@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago

He never had his car

[–] Janx@piefed.social 13 points 3 hours ago

But they should have dodged the fork...

[–] eezeebee@lemmy.ca 16 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

Booty call over PlayStation network DMs

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 hour ago

I can respect that. People have needs.
Although I would probably assume that a spam bot had gotten their login credentials.

[–] Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 hour ago
[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 26 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 children)

Not that fucked up, honestly, but here it goes anyway:

Had a GF, we ended up breaking up. And it didn't take much retrospective to realize how much better I felt once everything was over.
Anyway, due to loads of mutual friends we stayed in touch, and it was pretty drama-free, so it wasn'tas complicated as it could've been. Plus when I was in the army a couple of years later I was stationed pretty close to her and those friends. And in the weekends I didn't have much better things to do than to hang out with them.

One weekend all of us were out getting drunk together. It was pretty fun, but I'm pretty sure that she was trying to get some sort of response/reaction from me as she was always physically closest to me and none of the others, and always found a way of making any topic a reference to when we lived together. Not sure if alcohol was part of her decision making, but honestly didn't care, as I just ignored it all and focusing on having a good time with friends. As the small hours arrived and the bar was about to close she found some dude and became a heavy makeout session in public. When it was time to head home (or back to the garrison in my case) we all said our goodbyes. I don't even remember if she was there or not, which should indicate how much I cared about what she did or didn't do that night.

One of my friends asked me what I had to say about it, and I was relieved (and felt kind of clever about) that my earnest response was "Never before in my life have I felt so indifferent".

After my mandatory service was over I moved away elsewhere for work, and we all basically split up. Then she contacted me out of the blue after a long while and said she wanted to visit me. I just told her straight up "No." and that I had a life going on that didn't involve her. Then there were some allusions to her self-harming, and I told her that her mental health was not MY responsibility and hadn't been for a long time, but I was going to call her mom about it (they were really close). I just put my phone away as I heard some protests and fears in the other end. I had stopped caring about things like that from her long before that point. And that was the last time we spoke. 2007 or so.

And just for the record: I ran into one of our mutual friends a while back, and she's still fine.

[–] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 hours ago

No, because I knew her well enough to know it was a drama infused act.

[–] BlameThePeacock@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 hours ago

These are interesting to me, I never got a chance to experience this stuff myself. I have only 1 ex and it was from a relatively short relationship in high school, I got married to the second girl I ever dated and we're still married decades later.

That first girl did cheat on me, so that sucked, but we never spoke again and I have no idea where she even is at this point.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 9 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

One of my exes once sent me a Facebook friendship request more than 10 years after we'd split up. I'm still traumatised.

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago

I understand. A Facebook friend request will do that to a person.

[–] emotional_soup_88@programming.dev 10 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

~~I've only had amicable breakups (37, male, single), except for this one: when I was still figuring things out in eighth grade, a girl that I had broken up with threatened to pour coke on me - which she was holding in her hand - which made me miss a final exam and the teacher wouldn't have it so I failed the class. Dafuq.~~

Just realized your question was about exes trying to come back to our lives. Never mind.

[–] Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 6 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

That's ok, F- that B- that made you fail the class.

[–] d00phy@lemmy.world 6 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

Given the story about OP’s exam, I read the “F-“ & “B-“ as grades and thought:

  • “F-“ as a verb. I like it.
  • “B-“ as a noun? Given the “F-“, it fits.
  • ”B-“ for OP’s ex is… generous.
[–] QueenMidna@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 hours ago

I thought it was F- for misreading the original prompt

[–] EvilBit@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

So your skin is perpetually mildlyinfuriating? What a terrible place for a curse.

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 3 points 58 minutes ago

Consider this a polite notification that you probably wanted to reply to a comment, but accidentally replied to OP instead.