this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] taygaloocat@leminal.space 17 points 3 days ago (4 children)

What kind of miserable shithole would make it against the law to own chickens?

[–] neomachino@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 3 days ago (2 children)

It's illegal on my town to have chickens on anything less than 5 acres. I have an acre that backs up to woods far enough away that a couple hens would be no problem, but nope. One of my neighbors has 4.6 acres and used to have chickens but had to get rid of them when they changed the law. Its extra sad that my house is an original 1900s farm house with the original barn that used to have donkeys, chickens, goats and a few cows sitting on 20 acres, now I'll get fined to oblivion if I so much as get 1 quail.

[–] dovah@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

They didn't grand father him? That's some bureaucratic bs.

[–] caboose2006@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

And then I see factory egg farms and they put 10,000 chickens in 5 acres.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 4 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I don't think it's exactly against the law. Though the local HOA might have something to say about it.

But noise complaints are noise complaints, whether or not you like the sound of chickens if they're being too loud you're going to get a knock on the door. Same as if you had a very annoying dog.

[–] Poem_for_your_sprog@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

It's against most city ordinances in the US

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[–] kieron115@startrek.website 1 points 2 days ago

My guess is "places that have lots of predators and don't want them being attracted to residential areas". I can see an argument for banning chickens in a suburb if, say, little Susie down the street got attacked by a hungry coyote that couldn't make it into any of the coops (i have no clue if coyotes would attack a kid or not, just an example).

[–] BuckenBerry@lemmy.world 56 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

Fake: Anon goes outside

Gay: Anon likes cocks

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[–] ikidd@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Fuck roosters.

It is an utter mystery to me that after how many millennia of raising chickens that somebody hasn't bred a mute rooster.

[–] KingDingbat@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I have neighbors with chickens 2 houses down. I can attest that the chicken sounds bring unexplained joy.

[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 3 points 3 days ago

It's that involuntary contentedness noise they make that I love. I can't even begin to describe it, but when you get a load of happy chickens loafing about somewhere warm they make a super-relaxing sound that's like their equivalent of purring.

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 71 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Chickens are silly and wonderful.

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 33 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 25 points 4 days ago (10 children)
[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 42 points 4 days ago (1 children)

They can be silly and wonderful AND violent rapists.

Humans can't. But ducks can.

[–] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 10 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Just like cats are cute and fluffy and also psychotic serial killers

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[–] 0ops@piefed.zip 22 points 4 days ago

Tbf, I've seen chickens peck a duck's brains out

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[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Waking up to steadily increasing rooster calls is the nicest alarm clock IMO.

[–] kieron115@startrek.website 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Stupid roosters, start off at full volume and save some time! (/s if it wasnt clear)

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It's not the volume that increases, it's the frequency that increases until all the roosters are awake and the sun starts to peek over the horizon.

It would be horrifying if they all caw'd at once.

[–] kieron115@startrek.website 2 points 2 days ago

BRB, need to ask Randall Munroe a "what if' question real quick for completely unrelated reasons...

[–] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

Thanks chickens

Thickens.

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 46 points 4 days ago (3 children)

I used to have chickens in a city when it wasn't legal. They got reported and we had to rehome them. They were fun, though, and having fresh eggs was always great.

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)

What a delight the person who reported you must be

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Oh yeah. Next door neighbor. She's been a nightmare. She threw fits demanding we move one of our fences. She systematically sprayed our plants with Round Up every year. She once hired unqualified dumbasses to cut down one of their trees which hit our house on the way down. (They felled it from the bottom "TIMBER" style as if it wasn't a crowded suburban residential neighborhood.)

Yeah, she was a huge pain to live right next to. And then she died and her daughter moved in. And she's just as bad. :\ We just avoid her.

[–] IronBird@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

have you tried using a spray-water bottle to punish bad behavior, it works on dogs and cats maybe it'll work on something less intelligent?

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[–] altkey@lemmy.dbzer0.com 36 points 4 days ago (1 children)

not sure if it's legal for them to own chicken

Anon lives in a society.

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[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 19 points 4 days ago

Around mid-2020 I worked at a callcenter. The organization I worked for had lower tiers of support via a callcenter in the Philippines and higher tiers via the stateside callcenter I worked at. When everyone went remote some of the staff at the Philipines callcenter emigrated to other countries and there was one particular member who always had some very noisy chickens in the background of their calls. It seriously reminded me how nice remote work can be for folks because this guy was chilling at home with his chickens nearby instead of in a stuffy office with a bunch of other unhappy underpaid callcenter workers. It was funny though how some customers reacted to it, sometimes it would just be one more thing for angry customers to complain about and other times it would be a wistful thing a customer commented about in a later positive review

[–] Damage@feddit.it 31 points 4 days ago (5 children)
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[–] felixwhynot@lemmy.world 29 points 4 days ago

Thanks chickens

[–] drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My neabor had chickens. But they were used for cock fighting :(

[–] kieron115@startrek.website 2 points 2 days ago

That's a shame, they should have stuck to cock magic instead.

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

I moved into a house with roommates who had chickens. It wasn't great. The chickens were cool, but they attract vermin. We had a real rat issue for a while, and they wouldn't believe me that the rats were going after the chicken feed/poop, as well as the warmth of the coop. Then, they got tired of tending to the birds and rehomed them. Sure enough, the rat problem vanished.

Edit: I appreciate that everyone wants to give me chicken tips, but they birds weren't ever mine, I didn't ever want the birds, and we no longer have the birds, so the tips aren't doing anything for me.

[–] zout@fedia.io 9 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I have chickens, but no rats because I took precautions against rats, foxes, martens and whatever else roams outside. It's not even difficult to do this, just make sure there's no food laying around, and plan for the coop to be vermin proof.

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[–] Chivera@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] rmuk@feddit.uk 4 points 3 days ago

Many door, yes, Ed-boy?

[–] Setiyeti93@lemmy.ca 13 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Behold my emotional support hens

https://lemmy.ca/post/56901397

[–] W3dd1e@lemmy.zip 13 points 4 days ago
[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 12 points 4 days ago (4 children)
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[–] halvar@lemy.lol 7 points 4 days ago

Then the homeowner's assocition hears about it

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Back in the 90's before backyard chickens was a thing, I lived in the inner city in a neighborhood populated with lots of Puerto Ricans. Don't know how long it was before I realized I heard roosters on the walk to the bus stop every morning. Now living in the burbs, my neighbors raise chickens, either they get tired of it after a year or their chickens get eaten by the foxes

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