this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2025
40 points (100.0% liked)

Mental Health

6255 readers
109 users here now

Welcome

This is a safe place to discuss, vent, support, and share information about mental health, illness, and wellness.

Thank you for being here. We appreciate who you are today. Please show respect and empathy when making or replying to posts.

If you need someone to talk to, @therapygary@lemmy.blahaj.zone has kindly given his signal username to talk to: TherapyGary13.12

Rules

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

  1. No promoting paid services/products.
  2. Be kind and civil. No bigotry/prejudice either.
  3. No victim blaming. Nor giving incredibly simplistic solutions (i.e. You have ADHD? Just focus easier.)
  4. No encouraging suicide, no matter what. This includes telling someone to commit homicide as "dragging them down with you".
  5. Suicide note posts will be removed, and you will be reached out to in private.
  6. If you would like advice, mention the country you are in. (We will not assume the US as the default.)

If BRIEF mention of these topics is an important part of your post, please flag your post as NSFW and include a (trigger warning: suicide, self-harm, death, etc.)in the title so that other readers who may feel triggered can avoid it. Please also include a trigger warning on all comments mentioning these topics in a post that was not already tagged as such.

Partner Communities

To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message the current moderators or comment on our pinned post.

Becoming a Mod

Some moderators are mental health professionals and some are not. All are carefully selected by the moderation team and will be actively monitoring posts and comments. If you are interested in joining the team, you can send a message to @fxomt@lemmy.dbzer0.com.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
fxomt@lemmy.dbzer0.com
Flagstaff@programming.dev
fxomt@anarchist.nexus
40
After a year of private psychotherapy, I'm considering taking a break. (programming.dev)
submitted 5 days ago by emotional_soup_88@programming.dev to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
12 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

37, male.

I live in Europe, born and raised here too. Never really felt genuine joy or purpose in life until I moved to Japan, where I immersed myself in the language and culture. I moved back to Europe after taking my Master's degree in education, because I had a wife at the time and it's indisputably socioeconomically easier to have a family in my country, compared to Japan. We got divorced even before she got her residence permit. We had a good run. Eight years.

I've been back to Europe for six years now. I haven't felt happiness or purpose since. The contrast is just bizarre. To the point where it feels like a bad joke. In Japan I was a student, in my own country I work full time. Sure. But come on... I know that life isn't easy and that you can't always be happy and euphoric. I would accept being in some sort of "neutral" state 75% of the time and happy 25% of the time. But I'm sad, lonely and angry 90% of the time and "neutral" 10% of the time. I was diagnosed with medium to severe depression a year ago. Go figure. The antidepressants maybe have taken some of the edges off my feelings and I have learned a lot from my therapist.

But I am still sad. The depression seems unaffected. I still project this seemingly unfounded anger and hatred towards myself. What the heck were those euphoric years in Japan?

Anyway, I have spent about €100 per therapy session for the last year. Once a week the first six months and then once every second week the last six months. I'm considering taking a break. For the money and to explore other options.

top 12 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] undergroundoverground@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

To me, the best therapists teach you to be your own therapist. If they haven't done that then here in lays the problem with privatised medicine and the myth of its efficiency.

Maybe you can combine your love of Japan and need for mindfulness with following the path of zen?

In terms of self hatred and all those horrible things i know you say to yourself, would you say them to anyone else who had been through all the thing you have been through? Like, if you knew it for a fact? Of course not. Then, instead of showing all that empathy to someone who doesn't exist, maybe show a little to yourself? I feel like you need it more than a figment of your imagination. Also, I would recommend learning self soothing too.

Wishing you all the best and I hope you find the peace you're looking for.

[–] emotional_soup_88@programming.dev 7 points 5 days ago

Thank you so much for your kind words! 😊 I will take them to heart. Especially the part about self soothing.

[–] TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com 5 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

its a good. at some point one must practice with the new tools acquired without the toolmaker.

but certainly it is a great person to revisit with from time to time.

[–] emotional_soup_88@programming.dev 5 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Thanks for your input! I was thinking the same. I want to try managing myself on my own for a while, with the tools that I have acquired. And I can always resume therapy if I feel the need.

[–] Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Does your therapy include a treatment plan with a goal that once achieved therapy ends?

If not, sounds like you've made your own treatment plan and reached a goal, short a cure.

[–] emotional_soup_88@programming.dev 2 points 5 days ago

Never thought of it that way. Just tried it because I didn't know what else to do. We never made concrete plans, but she did point out before we started, that I have to manage my expectations because some problems may have direct solutions while others don't. And that some problems I will have to learn to coexist with, instead of "getting rid of" them.

But yeah, that's a nice way of putting it. I did gain some things, attained some goals.

[–] Nomad 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You sound a little like me. Maybe its not Japan, but a little adventure? Maybe its the lack of adventure and challenge and not knowing what the next day brings? :) try traveling to a new place you always wanted to see. There are black beaches and volcanoes in Iceland. Perfect for your mood. And or maybe a blue lagoon visit? :)

[–] emotional_soup_88@programming.dev 2 points 5 days ago

Thanks! Funny you say that, since I was just trying to learn some íslenska just for the fun xD I visited Ísland once with my ex wife. The blue lagoon was too "touristy" for my taste xD but the landscape was just amazing. Other worldly. And I miss skyr xD Thanks again for the encouragement! Takk fyrir!

[–] kingofras@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Just wanted to let you know that for me too leaving Europe is a really good anti depressant.

Go back to visit. It is so nice to visit. But then gtfo. It’s too many people with too many different goals all pretending and trying to live together in too small a place without proper understanding of emotional intelligence or the importance of preserving nature.

You’re not the only one and there’s nothing wrong with you. You have put words to it while many there can’t and just drink it away.

[–] emotional_soup_88@programming.dev 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Thank you so much for saying there is nothing wrong with me! That felt really good!

I have been putting off visiting Japan because I'm afraid of what I might feel. I'm afraid to confront my feelings. What if I only feel regrets? But I will go there one day and I will face my feelings.

PS: I absolutely hear what you are pointing out regarding Japan's ignorance toward mental health and nature. I wouldn't weight it against emotional intelligence though. They too are victims of their country's history and politics. The rebuilding of the nation after WW2 required them to adapt a mentality that put aside mental and physical health and environmental awareness for the sake of economic prosperity and metropolitan visuals. Even after becoming an economic superpower in the 80's, they never let go of this mentality, which in my opinion is what Westerners often perceive as them having unhealthy and unsustainable work ethics. But yeah, I wouldn't wish their laboring conditions on anybody.

[–] kingofras@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Sorry for the ambiguity in my message. I was talking about Europe. But I’m glad it served some purpose either way.

The core essence is: be where your heart wants you to be, it’s not wrong to want to leave Europe, you can always visit down the track.