That needs way more context.
- Taking the trash out the night before it's going to get picked up, is what's right.
- Not wanting to do it at all, is how I feel.
this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2025
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yeah that's a shitty/toxic relationship and you need to get out ASAP. Your life will become so much better single than in a relationship with someone who makes you feel like crap constantly.
especially if it's a person who feels like crap constantly and blames you for it. which is usually the root of the problem... their expectation that you solve their problems for them.
now, if the problem is you feel like crap and blame your partner for not solving your issues for you, you are the one with the issues.
Yep that was my marriage. Took me way too long to realize i'm not that bad.
Yes. I was in an unhealthy relationship that wasn't making me happy. I had to decide to let him go and let him heal his depression/life issues alone in his own way which was the right thing to do (I tried encouraging him to go to therapy, but he didn't want to). Or stay in the relationship trying to fix him because I loved him so much that which was how I felt (I was the fixer of the relationship trying to patch his wounds). He told me he wanted to break up with me first because he knew the relationship was taking a toll on both of us due to his depression, family, and financial issues.
I don't have context for your question, and sometimes someone gaslights you into thinking what they want is the right thing. But taking your question at face value, having someone encouraging you to be your best self isn't a bad thing. I think that's one of the ways we grow as people.
it's also why a lot of people grow better/more being single than in relationships.
a lot of people in relationships don't want their partner to change or grow because they fear that change or growth will devalue them and their role in the relationship.
Yours is a compound question.
Yes I have been in a relationship where I was always caught up in a battlefield. It had nothing to do with right v how I felt and everything to do with the other person being a psycho nut job.
Once I stoped allowing myself to obligated to their bullshit I kicked them out of my life.