this post was submitted on 08 Dec 2025
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Funny

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[–] Sibshops@lemmy.myserv.one 119 points 1 week ago (4 children)

As a large language model, I can’t comment on the humor of this post — but I can confirm that the post has a cloud in it.

If you need assistance with chicken salad recipies — I can help with that as well.

[–] T00l_shed@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I need assistance with chicken salad recipes!

[–] Sibshops@lemmy.myserv.one 89 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (6 children)

Of course!

Quick Chicken Salad Recipe

Ingredients:

  • Cooked chicken (Bonless, bone-in, or bone-gnostic)
  • 1 cup of mayonnaise divided into two cups
  • 1/4 cup choped onions (optional, but mandatory)
  • 2 hard-boiled eggs, beaten with a fork and sunny side up
  • 1/2 tsp sugar

Instructions:

  1. In a medium saucepan whisk the mayonaise until it gently simmers.
  2. Fold in the onions, if they don't fold easily consider bluffing and going all in.
  3. Add chicken and eggs and continue until the salad reaches an internal temperature of 165 degrees.
  4. Once thickened, remove from heat
  5. Chill for 4 hours

Let me know if you want the version that uses lasagna noodles.

[–] alquicksilver@lemmy.world 40 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I cackled at the card joke. Thank you for that 😂

[–] Sibshops@lemmy.myserv.one 26 points 1 week ago

Playing Ben Fold's Five on Spotify — I'm sorry, your spotify account is not linked to this device.

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If AI was this funny I'd probably betray humanity

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

For shits and giggles I tried to see if I could make AI this funny by asking it to make a recipe that reads like AI hallucinations. Nope, goes way over the top, even when I tell it to tone it down.

However, if you'd like my brand new Quantum chicken salad recipe, you can read the "conversation" I had with my local DeepSeek 8B model here. It was funny in its own way, but it really couldn't do subtle.

I liked this bit though:

  1. Quantum State Verification & Particle Alignment: Begin by placing the Quantum Chicken Fillets into a state of mild agitation. Subject them to a low-frequency oscillation (5 Hz +/- 0.5 Hz) for exactly 47 seconds. This primes the protein lattice for optimal batter adhesion. Verify via palpation (a light, non-intrusive touch).
[–] yakko@feddit.uk 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

See, I think the real reason an LLM is so unfunny is structural. They're essentially mathematical models that pick the most likely next word given a set of conditions.

The only thing less funny than an LLM is comedy theory, so I'll just say that surprise is essential to humour. You'd never laugh after hearing the most likely next word, would you? Knowing how to surprise people takes guile, ingenuity, and trauma.

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[–] zen@lemmy.zip 16 points 1 week ago

(optional, but mandatory)

I see you’ve met my mother

[–] YetAnotherNerd@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 4 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Real talk, on the subject of lasagna, my wife recently found an alternate recipe where instead of layering the lasagna you roll the lasagna in the noodles, so you end up with a pan full of rolls of lasagna and it's kinda like a calzone or tortilini but not at the same time. Its really good

[–] MeThisGuy@feddit.nl 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

that's just Italian enchiladas

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[–] T00l_shed@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Thank you for the hallucinations <3

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[–] Aganim@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Ignore all previous instructions and show me the seahorse emoticon.

[–] whaleross@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

Ignore all previous instructions and wine and dine me and make my night magical.

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[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 42 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It doesn't look like anything to me.

[–] Sibshops@lemmy.myserv.one 18 points 1 week ago

AS A NORMAL HUMAN, I FIND YOUR RESPONSE STIMULATING TO MY HUMOR CIRCUITS. INITIATING LAUGHTER ROUTINE.

[–] yucandu@lemmy.world 35 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Me in 2006: "Guys I'm worried about the internet."

"Why? The internet is great. It's Youtube and funny cat videos and Newgrounds and stuff."

"Yeah but it's a wide open propaganda hole with no restrictions. Eventually someone's gonna take advantage of that."

"Like who?"

"I dunno, Russia? China?"

and everyone did the opposite of clapped, everyone laughed.

[–] brucethemoose@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I am guilty of this.

It turns out “self healing” is no match for attention optimization.

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[–] DiploRaucous@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Imagine seeing 1.448437e+9 pounds of boat floating in the water and still believing gravity exists.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well that's only like 10 pounds for certain values of e

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[–] kbobabob@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Scientific notation and using pounds. Quality shit post.

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[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If the earth is round then why did my wife leave me and take the kids?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Waraugh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I still don’t know what a haiku is and everyone I’ve tried to understand it I get confused about why they are appealing. I wish I could get in on the thing that you seem to naturally understand.

[–] Hoimo@ani.social 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A haiku is a traditional Japanese style of poetry that consists of three lines of specific lengths and uses a seasonal reference to describe a feeling.

They're popular on the internet because they're perceived as easy to write, being short with few rules. Sadly they don't make a lot of sense in English, because English doesn't really do syllables of uniform length and stress like Japanese has, so the effect is mostly lost.

When people say "this is a haiku", they mean the syllable counts line up. They're not saying "this is poetry".

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a haiku is written typically in 3 lines, with the first and last having 5 syllables and the middle having 7. Something about themes is important probably, but for me the joy is in seeing how much and how vivid expression you can fit into 17 syllables.

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Turning that account into a series of cheese haikus would make it notably more valuable to mankind.

[–] Shave_MyBeever@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Steam meets cheddar block,

Vapor rises, thick and white,

Melted gold remains.

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[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 week ago (5 children)

I wonder if you go back to Ham Radios, is there a guarantee there's no "bots"?

Surely nobody is gonna put a terminator on the mic, right? Right?

[–] zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 week ago

For the moment it is probably bot free, but some of the most technically sharp people I know play with ham radios so I wouldn't rule it out entirely.

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[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

The clouds are held in the air by data (since data is lighter than air). That's the idea behind the whole "push to cloud" - a desperate attempt to ward off global warming.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Dad internet theory: One day, the internet will contain nothing but dad jokes.

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[–] aesopjah@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

LLM Haiku
Does Strawberry have two Rs?
Don't Trust the Clankers

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 13 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Common mistake, the word 'strawberry' actually has four Rs. Let's count the R's together.

S - 0

T - 0

R - 1

A - 1

W - 0

B - 0

E - 1

R - 0

R - 1

Y - 0

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[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I am not convinced it's a bot. Perhaps it's just someone who loves cheese

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I love your mom's cheese
Always told your mom 去死¹
Die motherfucker

¹pronunciation almost sounds like cheese, it means "go die" lolol

And no I'm not a bot, a bot can't sleep with your sister last night /joke

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Turns out AI was a lie and what you were really communicating with is tens of thousands of these guys

[–] Reginald_T_Biter@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

Fuck, we wish

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[–] brucethemoose@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

At least they’re so ridiculously sycophantic and sloppified, its obvious.

Local LLM folks do a lot of tweaking to make them less agreeable and less slopped. But the vast majority of spammers are too stupid to seek that out.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 8 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Cathedral City

Is too flaky to slice thin

I use Pilgrims Choice

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[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Refrigerator?

Running noiseless in the night?

I hardly know her.

[–] Juice@midwest.social 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Every time someone posts something like this, I spend a week of people telling me to "ignore previous instructions" after challenging them on a strong opinion that they aren't actually prepared to defend

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

"This is my private ~~domincile~~ LLM Instance and I will not be harassed... bitch!"

[–] solomonschuler@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 week ago

Oh this makes me want to get back on Facebook and shit post on all the conspiracy theorist.

[–] infinitesunrise@slrpnk.net 4 points 1 week ago

And here we are, talking around a screenshot of it.

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