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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/AliceMorgon on 2025-12-07 00:08:22+00:00.
I have two epilepsy service cats (yes, cats) named Schrödinger and Angelina. They work alternating 12 hour shifts so they still get plenty of “being a cat” fun time, not to mention they can still play at home as long as they do their job. I got Schrödinger much younger because Angie was a cancelled contract from the previous litter and is highly traumatised (they’re siblings) so his training has progressed much faster and more effectively than Angelina’s, which is why he works days (10am to 10pm, when Angie switches in; it’s generally more uneventful at night so better for a cat still learning.) The one thing about Angie though is that she’s very intuitive.
Anyway. 6am this morning. I’m mid-night-terror when suddenly a cat is clawing me awake. I assumed it was Schrödinger demanding food because Angelina has NEVER progressed to the point of alerting physically before, so mumbled various profanities and rolled over.
Then she started meowing. This cat has never made a sound in her life. And headbutting me. At this point it finally strikes me that the cat is actually responding to her training and alerting on me properly for the first time. Just in time for the world’s biggest invisible wrecking ball to strike me in the head, my legs and arms to go numb, and for me to vomit all over myself, my hair, the cat, the bed, the floor, and the outside of the bag I was aiming for.
My second cat, Schrödinger, immediately raced over and began licking Angie clean enthusiastically. It was so disgusting I threw up again. On Schrödinger this time. And poor Angie again.
It was… it was bad. I did not feel well.
But good girl, Angelina. Many treats for you.
TL;DR: Ignored epilepsy cat, then vomited profusely on epilepsy cat, entire room, and self.