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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/BurnquestThreepwood on 2025-12-06 15:54:17+00:00.
This morning I woke up at 5am like I would any other workday. I’m the manager of a medical cannabis dispensary in upstate New York and I like to go to the gym before I start my day or else I tend to lose the motivation to do so after my workday is over. The morning went much like any other, the only difference being that since we’ve entered into winter it’s been unbelievably cold lately and my skin has been drying out because of it. While at the gym at one point the skin in my finger ended up cracking and I began to bleed, nothing crazy, but I happened to notice it as I was leaving. Once I get home I hop into the shower and when I get out I have the bright idea to moisturize, which is something that I don’t usually do. Because this is out of the norm for me I don’t usually have lotion in the house, however a couple weeks ago one of the venders for our dispensary sent bottles of their new THC lotion to the shop for our employees to try out. Not being a believer that lotion is the most effective way for me to medicate due to uncertainty of the ability of the medication to break the blood/brain barrier and get a precise dose every time have yet to use the lotion. Because I didn’t particularly think a lotion could get anyone stoned, I liberally applied globs and globs of lotion across my entire body. We’re talking close to half the bottle. After that I get dressed and head to work. As I start doing inventory and counting drawers I do think I may actually start to feel a little high. ‘Cool’, I think to myself. I don’t usually medicate during the workday but I’m not one to scoff at an incidental dose to help round the edges on my last workday of the week. As I continue my morning routine I continue to notice myself become more and more stoned. To the point where I’m starting to freak out a little bit. By the time I hit the peak of this experience I’d shut myself in my office hoping to god nobody comes in needing to speak to a manager or that I wouldn’t need to make direct eye contact with any of my staff for the next couple hours. When all was said and done I made it through the experience (as well as prescheduled monthly call with corporate) not too worse for wear, I did eat my lunch way too early, and I will have a tough time battling the lethargy one feels after getting way too high, but I stuck the landing the best I could. I now have a newfound respect for our topical products and a pretty funny fuckup to tell at holiday parties this year.
TL;DR- Bathed myself in weed lotion and ended up fried at work.