this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2023
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The Onion

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GAZA CITY, GAZA—Following conflicting accounts of a horrific attack on a Gaza hospital, officials from the Israeli Defense Forces released a new statement Wednesday that claimed it was you, the reader of this very article, who committed the act of terror.

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[–] livus@kbin.social 231 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Damn the Onion is on fire lately.

[–] photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 2 years ago (1 children)

And all it took was a human catastrophe.

[–] fleabomber@lemm.ee 13 points 2 years ago

Crazy-laugh-cry

[–] brewery@feddit.uk 10 points 2 years ago

So true, its keeping me slightly more sane (less insane maybe more accurate) about the whole mess

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[–] theotherone@kbin.social 135 points 2 years ago (4 children)

I suspected me all along. The signs were all there.

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[–] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 85 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

what really blew up the hospital was the friends we made along the way

[–] AOCapitulator@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago

if we is the US and friends we "made" is taken literally..

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[–] uphillbothways@kbin.social 50 points 2 years ago

We've been trying to reach you about your hospital's extended warranty...

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 47 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I am disgusted by my actions.

[–] Wakmrow@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

Before we start this thread can we all agree to condemn your actions?

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[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 44 points 2 years ago

Shit sorry I knew I should have eaten less beans last night

[–] roguetrick@kbin.social 27 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Man, that guy that got mad about a joke that called him dense regarding this topic is going to be pissed about this.

[–] hightrix@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago

You have me as a reference when you apply to The Onion.

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 27 points 2 years ago

Ahh shit, got found out. Time to run

[–] TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 27 points 2 years ago (3 children)
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[–] bquintb@midwest.social 27 points 2 years ago
[–] cloud@lazysoci.al 26 points 2 years ago (1 children)

they are not wrong, it's your tax money being used there

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[–] TrismegistusMx@slrpnk.net 23 points 2 years ago

What if the real treasure is the hospitals we bombed along the way?

[–] PwnTra1n@lemmy.world 21 points 2 years ago

I’m sure I had a good reason

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 21 points 2 years ago

Woopsie doodles

[–] Dogyote@slrpnk.net 21 points 2 years ago (1 children)
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[–] JamesConeZone@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago

Reader response criticism has gone too far! Stanley Fish in shambles!

[–] Caligvla@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 2 years ago

Shit, they caught me!

[–] Jordan117@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago
[–] shiveyarbles@beehaw.org 16 points 2 years ago

I knew it, it was the Ambien

[–] MxM111@kbin.social 13 points 2 years ago

Haha! I am pacifist and I did not open the link!

[–] Resol@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Guess I am banned from leaving my house then

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[–] Devouring@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (2 children)

It was a parking lot fire. No hospital blew up. The propaganda has to stop.

[–] Nobody@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago

Yeah, I don't agree with what Israel is doing in Gaza and am under no illusions that the IDF doesn't do bad things, but the evidence just doesn't back up the "hospital airstrike with 500 dead" claims. Footage shows a rocket fired from inside Gaza misfiring and landing in a parking lot next to the hospital. The geolocation of the footage has been verified. The visible damage is burned up cars in a parking lot. The actual hospital wasn't hit by anything and the damage is way more consistent with burning rocket fuel than a high explosive detonation, which would have left a massive crater where the parking lot used to be.

[–] figaro@lemdro.id 11 points 2 years ago (8 children)

Genuine question - 500 people died, right? Did that actually happen, and was it a result of this?

[–] Thorny_Insight@lemm.ee 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

500 would be an insane death toll even for an actual JDAM strike on a building. Currently, however, nothing indcates that this was an Israeli strike. Their bombs are massive compared to the ones Hamas is using. The parking lot which the rocket hit is barely damaged except for the damage caused by fire. If it was Israeli bomb there would be a massive crater on the ground. There is some DISTURBING NSFL FOOTAGE that seems to indicate, that there indeed was several casualties in that strike but I'd guess we're more like talking of tens, not hundreds of dead.

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