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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Quiet_Engineer_6867 on 2025-12-05 20:26:08+00:00.
I'm honestly a bit embarrassed by this. I'm embarrassed and disappointed in myself.
Part of my embarrassment comes from feeling like sobriety isn't really a thing. Like a lot of people, I've always drank causally. Around 2 years ago is when I feel like it became an actual issue. It started with coming home and having a drink or two every night. Prior to that, I would only drink on nights when I didn't have to work the next day. Quickly, those 2 drinks turned into 3 or 4 or 5, and suddenly I realized I was going through at least half a bottle of liquor every night. I would tell myself "I'm not going to drink tonight" while I was at work or on my way home. Then I'd get home and sure enough, I'd justify just having one. Then one became two, and that became three, and then there I was finishing off another bottle. That was every single night. I wasn't fall down or pass out drunk. I still woke up and went to work every morning. My struggle with it was completely internal. I lost my motivation to do anything enjoyable. I started feeling depressed. It even changed the way I saw myself.
2 weeks and 5 days ago I decided that enough was enough and I needed to stop. I told my wife I wasn't going to drink anymore because I felt like it had become a problem. That was the first time I said it out loud. My wife said that she never thought it was an issue because I didn't get drunk, just occasionally a little tipsy. I got rid of any of the alcohol I had and the first 2 days were hard, but I started to feel better. I felt more energy. I felt happier. I felt better about myself. I still thought about drinking, but I was doing good. Then last night, my wife got into an argument with our son. She walked away and asked me to deal with it because she was getting overwhelmed. That lead to me and my son arguing over what really should've been a minor issue. We eventually settled it, as best as it could be at least, and he walked away. I stood in the kitchen trying to calm down. Thats when it hit me. I had an old bottle of brandy that I had for years. I poured a glass, sat down on a stool and drank it. Then another, and another. I drank 3/4 of the bottle by the time my wife came back in. I wasn't angry or tense any more. She didn't say anything about the drinking. We just went on with the night like nothing happen. An hour or so later, my son and I were talking like normal. Everything was fine until I woke up this morning with that same old feeling that I hated. My wife says that its not a big deal because I wasn't drunk, but I feel ashamed for giving in like I did. I again have no motivation and keep thinking about picking up another bottle of liquor before going home. I want it to be a big deal. I want someone else to tell me that I F'd up.
TL;DR After heavily drinking every night for the past 2 years, I decided to stop drinking. I didn't drink for almost 3 weeks, but last night I drank almost a whole bottle of liquor because I felt upset and stressed by something. Now I hate myself for it, and I don't want it to be ok.