this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2025
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[–] SuiXi3D@fedia.io 39 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

HOCUS POCUS, YOU CAN NO LONGER FOCUS!

I CAST… ADHD!

[–] TehBamski@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Wait, I already have ADHD. Does that make my ADHD, Super ADHD?

[–] SuiXi3D@fedia.io 22 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Congrats, you’re now autistic as well.

[–] applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago

You're not going to believe this. I already have both. What do I get? Super audhd?

[–] ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

anal sex with a ribbed condom

[–] bunkyprewster@startrek.website 2 points 2 weeks ago

100s of pleasure dots

[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Deep rectal itch

I counter with Bigby's Vibrating Finger

[–] InnerScientist@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

It's super effective!

@UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world has fainted.

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] TehBamski@lemmy.world 27 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I've spent a minute thinking about this reply and have come to the conclusion that it works both ways.

Sure, you could flip me off for casting this on you.

Or... you're alluding to the use of your middle finger to reach as deep as you can to scratch that deep rectal itch spot.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Or they might want to fuck you to get rid of it.

[–] dumbass@piefed.social 2 points 2 weeks ago

You got it spot on!

[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 2 weeks ago

I can think of some ways to get it scratched

[–] teft@piefed.social 13 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 weeks ago

Magic Missle 😳😲😯🤪😁

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Mmm, the magic finger 😏

[–] Rooskie91@discuss.online 12 points 2 weeks ago

Sit on a grave and use Raise Dead.

[–] aislopmukbang@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 weeks ago

this is what magic wands are for. Staves for the more experienced

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Scratch it with a cucumber and then throw the cucumber at you.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Scratch it with a cucumber then take a big bite of said cucumber while maintaining Gowron levels of eye contact.

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Not 20 Intimidation Check

[–] ulterno@programming.dev 8 points 2 weeks ago

I eat Fig potion

[–] TonyTonyChopper@mander.xyz 7 points 2 weeks ago
[–] agent_nycto@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I SUMMON CARBRON THE TRICKSTER GOOD TO SWAP OUR BUTTHOLES

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

Oh sweet I'm a virgin again

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Scoundrel! I cast Last Season Of Your Favorite Show Never Gets Made.

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

IVE FOUND YOU. TONIGHT YOU DIE

[–] Deconceptualist@leminal.space 5 points 2 weeks ago

Not to get political or anything, but is this castable with a radius? Like say if we wanted to AOE a certain godawful parliamentary body.

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] DamienGramatacus@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I cast Mage Hand and scratch it then.

Jk, I don't cast Mage Hand.

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 weeks ago

I, as a mage, just use my hand.

"Mage Hand".

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 weeks ago

Finally my calling.

[–] webp@mander.xyz 3 points 2 weeks ago

I cast restart PC

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] TehBamski@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

In DnD, nearly anything is possible. So why not this? ¯\(ツ)

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago

I follow with "fingers are fish hooks"

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

I cast Swamp Ass!

[–] tuskyo@ttrpg.network 1 points 1 week ago

Scratch n' sniff