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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Chubby_Chaser_4_Life on 2025-11-30 16:22:43+00:00.
I have a 16 week old lab puppy who until recently wasn't too snuggly but loves to play. Think - only wants to be pet for a few moments before trying to push a toy in your hand, or after 30 seconds of crawling in your lap for a cuddle she wants out again.
Don't ask me why, but I started doing this thing where I'd be the one to play dead when playing sometimes - like I'd go from kneeling to falling / lying face down on the floor (yeah, weird I know, I'm a single dude and live quite rurally, sometimes you do strange shit ha).
Usually, it's cute, she'll walk over my back and paw at me (puppy massage ha), try to lixk my ears, push a toy at me, then I'll pop my head up laughing and I'll tickle her and she'll get excited then roll over for a belly rub. Cute as hell, and encouraged physical touch she initiated.
Not today though. Today she was sick of my shit. Within SECONDS she full on bit the back of my neck with her puppy needle teeth, and when I naturally cried out and raised my hand to brush her off she then bit my hand very hard, and as I tried to stand up she pawed at my face hard enough to draw blood. Maybe I was actually worrying her that something bad had happened to me when I played dead?
So now I look like I've been attacked my the world's most incompetent vampire with 4 puncture marks on the back of my neck, 4 on my hand, and a claw cut down my cheek. The best bit is, I've got to present my 2026 plan to my CRO in the office tomorrow who's flying in from abroad. Maybe she does give a crap about me after all ๐
TL;DR: reverse played dead with my puppy who decided this time she was going to give me the kiss / bite of life, and now I have to present to senior leadership in person tomorrow with bite and cut marks on my head and hand ๐