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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/EmergencyCreative432 on 2025-11-28 15:57:29+00:00.
Tldr: I was starving, saw colorful little cubes labeled "Free Samples," and immediately ate one. It was lavender-scented, hand-milled soap. My brain short-circuited and my mouth foamed up right in front of the horrified vendor.
Okay, I need to know if anyone else’s hunger completely shuts off their brain. I went to the farmer's market this morning, skipped breakfast, and was vibrating with low blood sugar.
I was trying to find the pastry stand but passed this table full of bath products—lotions, candles, the whole deal. I was just walking by, but then my eyes locked onto a small tray. It had these perfect, colorful, square cubes. Like little pieces of fancy fudge or fruit jelly. There was a sign above it that just said, "Free Samples!"
I didn't stop, I didn't read anything. I just reached out, grabbed a purple cube that looked exactly like grape jelly, and jammed the whole thing into my mouth. I was already halfway down the aisle.
The instant I bit down, it was like a jump scare. It wasn't soft; it was dense and chalky. And the taste was so wrong. It was bitter, aggressively floral, and tasted exactly how air freshener smells. Before I could process it, it started foaming up because of my saliva.
I had to stop walking and just stand there, eyes wide, struggling to chew and spit it out into my hand, trying not to look like a rabies patient. The vendor, this sweet older lady, saw me struggling and ran over, yelling, "Oh my God, honey, are you okay?!"
I could barely manage to whisper, "I thought it was food," while frantically trying to wipe the purple bubbles off my chin. She pointed to the sign next to the tray that said, in tiny letters, "NEW SOAP SCENTS."
I grabbed a bottle of water just to wash away the flavor, but I'm still smelling and tasting lavender. I had to leave the market because I was dying of embarrassment.