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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/trackunstar on 2025-11-25 17:08:41+00:00.
I (27f) met my dad for the first time in February. Sounds crazy, but he left when I was a baby & I was raised by my grandparents & mom. I had a very happy & wonderful life with them, so I never really thought about it. As a teenager, curiosity kind of struck me and I started looking for information. That’s when the anger started to set in because it became obvious through my research that he chose a life of addiction instead of knowing me. Fast forward to February - I get a call from his now wife explaining who she is & that my dad had been put on hospice care & was asking for me to come because he wanted to speak with me. I toyed with it for a while, then jumped in the car and drove 3 hours to Virginia because it felt like it would be my only opportunity to ask questions & extend forgiveness. We had a great visit - lots of tears and I received an apology I never thought I would. He passed 30 days later. Out of respect I attended the funeral, got to hear stories of him, and decided that after that I could close the chapter and move on as a more healed version of myself.
That was kind of it, until now. I moved into a new house a couple of weeks ago and his wife reached out for my address as she wanted to send me a holiday card - cool. Today, I get home & find a UPS box with a bible in it - apparently my mom gifted it to him when they were married, and it was kind of cool to see notes in it from her & both of my grandparents I was raised by. I reached back into the box and pulled out a small glass jar - I figured it was just a little memento from his wife & boy, was I SO wrong. I unscrewed the lid, and POOF my dad goes flying everywhere. I stood frozen as I watched his ashes flutter to the ground all over my kitchen…and onto the back of my black cat. I’m stunned. Never once did I ask for ashes, and never once did I get asked if I wanted them.
So now I have no idea what do to. I feel so confused, like my brain is in overdrive trying to comprehend what just happened. This is also the first death I’ve ever had in my “immediate” family, but I barely knew him. I feel weird just keeping him in a jar - I don’t even know where to put him.
Any advice would be appreciated & bonus points for morbid humor because that’s the only way I’m coping at the moment.
What the hell.
TL;DR: met my dad once, he died & now I have his ashes floating around my house.