My uncle usually cooks at our family thanksgiving, and it's always really goddamn good
this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2025
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Here is what I would like to say of my experience. Not to snap at this, or provoke a battle-of-the-genders. Just to say what I've experienced.
I'm a recovered germophobe but I still do the cleaning because it's not even work to me, it's just a casual part of my routine. I cook all from fresh and every meal, because I lost like 58kg after getting over my ED. My mother was insanely (abusively) strict when we were just small kids, so we were trained to clean the dishes, put things away, blah blah.
But anyways after sobering up and lots of therapy, the bad parts (the obsessive parts) of all that went away, but doing that stuff had just become an 'easy' part of my life.
But here's the little thing I don't even want to say. Women hate that shit lol. Isn't that awful to say? I'm always taken aback when I'm scolded for doing the things women say guys should do more of ahha
I think at my age it's a lot of the entrenched gender roles biting all sides. Yes, please open up the gates to the domains women historically have controlled. Guys need to shape up in a general sense in these areas, but let us in plz!
I get what you're saying, but the attitudes are luckily changing and the amount of women who frown on men doing housework is rapidly shrinking.
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Society being agender-by-default, with gender being opt-in, would solve a lot of problems.
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Your kids help?
My daughter has been a helper since she was 2. We encouraged it despite the very obvious frustration and now we have a somewhat competent helper years later.
For anyone unaware how frustrating it can be. Watch the Omelette episode of Bluey...
She was expected to do chores as soon as we believed her capable. That included bringing her dirty laundry to the laundry room. Putting dirty clothes away. Cleaning plates before putting in the dishwasher.
You have to teach kids EVERYTHING its exhausting. When I first asked my daughter to put a plate in the kitchen the put it on the floor, just over the threshold of the door. She was about 18mo, and it was not malicious, just following my exact instructions.
Either way I fully support your parenting practice and I do the same <3
Oh man, my wife HATES the omelette episode, it's too real for her. I tend to do better with the kids when we cook together, but it's also down to the projects I pick. Making pasta from scratch is messy, fun, and you can be imprecise. Baking (her specialty) is not so forgiving.
Chores, I think, are easier to teach but harder to enforce.
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Who doesn't do that? What a weird assumption.
My grandpa and my father in law were never taught how to cook.
My grandpa could make porridge and sandwiches. My father in law can grill, but that’s it. My dad doesn’t even grill.
There are definitely households where cooking is seen as feminine and boys aren’t encouraged.
Thankfully my family is full of excellent cooks and all of my brothers and I love to cook. Some of my favourite memories of holidays were cooking with my mom before Christmas Eve so we didn’t have to cook until Boxing Day. I think the cooking part was better than the eating part, we had a full on hors d’oeuvre assembly line.
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My dad never learned to cook, clean, or take care of his own hair/clothes. He had 7 sisters who were all taught that taking care of the boys and the house was their main duty in life. None of those sisters ever touched a hammer or a wrench.
His dad never learned to cook, clean, or take care of himself in any way. He had 4 sisters who were all taught that taking care of the boys and the house was their main duty in life. None of those sisters ever touched a hammer or a wrench.
I have two boys - they were taught to cook and clean and take care of themselves. And once they had that basic stuff down they were taught the hammer and wrench.
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If you cook, you don't clean. If you clean, you don't cook. Tell them to take their pick.
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My mom made me do that 40 years ago already. That is a thing, no? Sure, it was Christmas dinner, as we didn't have thanksgiving, but it's the same nonetheless. You do it together as a family
Make your kids do all the work - more like enable them to help with all tasks. Getting to help can be fun. Gender barriers to tasks are stupid.
The heck is a thanksgiving?
Ritualized Turkey Murder
Note: Turkey is optional. Mostly because nobody ever does it well. It is always dry and tasteless.
We're doing home made pizzas.
It is fun, and it requires little skill so everyone involved in the cooking process. Even the kids get involved to help.
Best part: Nobody spends all day slaving away in the kitchen not enjoying the holiday.
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It's what Canada and the USA call their harvest festival. What does your country call it?
Maybe "Herbstfest"? But more of a local thing. "Jahrmarkt" is even more local. Both are some kind of village-wide market events, the first more fall-themed (and grapes because "Weinland" switzerland) with changing locations each year.
Looks like american thanksgiving is how christmas is for us?
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They're survival skills that everyone should know.
And have your daughters come to the garage and help replace brakepads on their bikes, install curtain rods, etc... etc...
Maybe I didn't help cook as much but was my job to clean after pretty much every dinner. Always thanked my Mum for the dinner nightly (regardless of my taste preferences). Pretty much set the table for dinners all regular night and cleaned up.
Larger dinners with company she let me stop cleaning after awhile but these days I'd gladly clean till the end, she made the best dinners.