this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 115 points 4 weeks ago (5 children)

More like about 10,000 years ago when humans started farming and agriculture to grow crops at scale to make bread ... then at about the same time they domesticated cows in order to harvest milk and figure out how to make and store butter.

[–] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 60 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

The earliest known bread recipe dates back approximately 14,500 years, discovered in a stone fireplace at a site in northeastern Jordan, where charred remains of a pita-like flatbread were found.

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 62 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

where charred remains of a pita-like flatbread were found

Man, it must have been hella stale by then.

[–] Opisek@piefed.blahaj.zone 50 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Nothing a little water and microwave can't fix

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[–] TeNppa@sopuli.xyz 35 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

And "only" 5000 years if you count when people started using yeast for bread production, since the bread ain't the same without yeast.

[–] NateNate60@lemmy.world 38 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (2 children)

Behold! The bread hierarchy!

Flour + water = hardtack

Flour + water + yeast = bread

Flour + water + yeast + butter = toast

Flour + water + leavener + butter + sugar = muffin

Flour + water + leavener + butter + sugar + eggs = cake

Flour + water + leavener + butter + sugar + eggs + chocolate = brownie

Flour + water + leavener + butter + sugar + eggs + chocolate + cream = cupcake

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 23 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Flour + water = hardtack

clack clack

:D

[–] linkinkampf19@lemmy.world 21 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)
[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 5 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)
[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 18 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

It's pretty hard not to use yeast. It's everywhere and if you wait long it enough it'll start to ferment. Look at what some Orthodox Jews go through to make unleavened bread.

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I got the opposite of whet you meant at first, did you mean 'to prevent it from leavening at all'? I found this in wiki and only then did I got it:

Dough is considered to begin the leavening process 18 minutes from the time it gets wet; sooner if eggs, fruit juice, or milk is added to the dough. The entire process of making matzah takes only a few minutes in efficient modern matzah bakeries.

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 2 points 3 weeks ago

Sorry for the confusion. This 18 minutes thing was exactly what I tried to say!

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

There are plenty of bread without yeast.

[–] TeNppa@sopuli.xyz 5 points 3 weeks ago

Yes there are, but the one in the picture clearly was made with yeast.

[–] ShamanRonin@lemmy.world 9 points 4 weeks ago

We gatekeeping bread now?

[–] Rothe@piefed.social 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Pre-agricultural humans did still have access to flour and milk though.

[–] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

But what did they milk to make butter?

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 5 points 4 weeks ago

I know this, and you know this. Shh. Don't ruin the meme

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 39 points 4 weeks ago (5 children)

I could make bread right now. But I just want to eat bread right now. I don't wanna wait for it to rise and cook 😩

[–] Swaus01@piefed.social 27 points 4 weeks ago

I guarantee you will still want to eat some bread later, and you'll even thank your past self for making the bread

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 16 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

As an USAmerican. The absolute travesty that we sell in the grocery store is one of the worst crimes against humanity.

I want to live in world where we're all walking distance from a bakery that makes real bread daily.

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago

Yeah, I'm also from the US and my grocery store sells pretty solid breads. I also have solid French and Italian bakeries walking distance from my house. I also live in the suburbs.

Some people only have Dollar General.

US very big and very varied. So I'm from Jersey, if that helps, because I think it's important to be specific. We have great bread, great bagels, great pizza and for this I am very thankful.

[–] mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 1 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

do your grocery stores not all have bakeries in house, too?

like, I get that Walmart and the like can price out local bakeries, and then sell you shit "fresh" bread instead once they've forced the local small businesses to close. but it's better than the stuff that never moulds, yeah?

[–] adminofoz@lemmy.cafe 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Walmart baked in house bread is close to the never molds variety. It uses modern GMO wheat with added preservatives and shortcut chemicals to reduce prep time from days to hours. Not to mention added sugars. Defending it would be like defending Subways "fresh baked bread" which isn't even legally allowed to be called bread in certain European countries. At one point they were caught putting the stuff in foam yoga mats in their bread.

In my opinion, that "bread" is a very distant cousin of homemade sourdough spelt (or whatever locally sourced whole grains was available) traditional known as bread.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 points 3 weeks ago

Super Walmarts and Neighborhood Markets actually have bakeries and make real bread, too.

[–] WhatsHerBucket@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] StillAlive@piefed.world 6 points 4 weeks ago

Do you think people in other countries make their own bread? 🤨

[–] Credibly_Human@lemmy.world 2 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Bread remains one of the cheapest foods. Get some frozen bread, rinse it quickly with water, then bake it.

As good as fresh, dirt cheap, and you don't have to bake.

[–] 69420@lemmy.world 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

...then bake it.

...

...you don't have to bake.

🤔

[–] Credibly_Human@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

-_-

When I say bake the second time, I mean reheat in the oven, not literally bake

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 1 points 4 weeks ago

Dunno where you're at but Trader Joe's sells these half-baked breads, so you just pop it in the oven and bring it over the finish line. They're honestly not half bad, and you get freshly baked bread.

[–] DonEladio@feddit.org 15 points 4 weeks ago
[–] y0kai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

And then for some of us, our bodies are like, "lol you've had enough of this. Now even just crumbs will fuck you up for a week or more." It was a good run.

[–] RecursiveParadox@lemmy.world 3 points 4 weeks ago

F for respects (seriously, hope i never feel your pain, have known some with it too)

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 12 points 4 weeks ago

Thanks for the meal inspo OP

I think I'll go and make this right now

[–] ohlaph@lemmy.world 8 points 4 weeks ago

I love dipping that in some Zatar dip. I basically add a bit of olive oild to a small dish, then salt to taste a bunch of zatar, mix then dip away!!!

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 8 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] kelpie_returns@lemmy.world 21 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] ReginaPhalange@lemmy.world 26 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] GeorgimusPrime@lemmy.world 13 points 4 weeks ago

This is how the Britishpronounced it after drinking all the T

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 3 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] kelpie_returns@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

It's "bread and butter" but with some silly on it. Not a real word lol

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 3 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Could have been swedish or something, lol.

[–] nailbar@sopuli.xyz 2 points 3 weeks ago

Not enough umlauts

[–] Samskara@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It’s smörebröd in Swedish, I think.

[–] pupbiru@aussie.zone 1 points 3 weeks ago

i want s’morebrod

[–] TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 6 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I just made some homemade butter by accident and it fucking slaps so hard

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