this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2023
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Science Fiction

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Lemmy World Rules

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I'm tired of all these Ahsooka and Han Solo spinoffs. For once I want Disney to give me the story of Steve, the padawan no jedi wanted to train! (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 years ago by PlanetOfOrd@lemmy.world to c/sciencefiction@lemmy.world
31 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Steve: turns on lightsaber

Steve: Hm...what does the green plasma taste like?

all 32 comments
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[–] delitomatoes@lemm.ee 28 points 2 years ago (2 children)

After Mando and the MCU, I thought they'd go in the direction where you create different genres set in the Sta Wars universe, instead every genre is a Saturday morning cartoon.

Mandolorian - Western with a villain of the season and the wanderer goes to a new planet/sector

Andor - Gritty spy/war drama

Police Procedural - A Jedi solves crimes in local town while in hiding

Book of Boba Fett -mob crime show like breaking bad, sopranos

Rom Com - An ex storm trooper and a rebel fall in love

Sitcom - the office but set in a moisture farm

Heist - like Leverage with a bunch of criminals

Horror - A powerful Sith is hunting Jedi

Obi Wan - Slice of life, Ben the hermit does gardening and chores for the townsfolk, tries to fend off attraction for the local blue milk maids, sharpens his mind into razor sharp focus instead of swinging a baseball bat around. Uses wit and logic to solves problems

Shonen - basically the games but better

War - band of brothers but with rebels

[–] MilitantAtheist@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (3 children)

It's cause the people that fund movies and games have absolutely no imagination. So to get something funded, you have to sell it as: Think of it as "Friends, but set in the star wars universe"

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago

It think it has a lot more to do with how risky it’s seen- the budgets for these films and shows are huge.

Further they’re dinosaurs who still see sci-fi as “not popular” and “risky”- but a lot of that actually has to do with idiots doing broadcasting stupidity.

(Like airing Babylon 5 opposite St:DS9 in a time when DVRs didn’t exist, or mucking with the episode order of firefly, so everyone was extremely confused about who and what was going on in the first few episodes,)

Couple that with needing to include merchandising opportunities (baby yoda, for example,) and generally satisfying corpos that it’s going to turn bigger profits than, say, uh… whatever is currently streaming….

[–] wildcardology@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Pitch meeting nails how producers green lights movies and tv shows.

[–] Piecemakers3Dprints@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm going to need you to get all the way off of my back about that.

[–] jasondj@ttrpg.network 2 points 2 years ago

Getting off on backs is tight.

[–] jasondj@ttrpg.network 2 points 2 years ago

Most the shows he listed he’s giving examples of existing shows. And actually, his Police Procedural sounds exactly like the Peacock-Original “Poker Face”, except without Jedi…lead character (Natasha Lyone) is essentially a human lie detector. Great easy-watching bingable crime-comedy, IMO.

[–] thebardingreen@lemmy.starlightkel.xyz 10 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I want the Great Chandrillan Baking Show.

It's Shistivanen Week and Plintth is in his element!

""Oh, it's going to be meat pies! Savoury meat pies, sweet meat pies! Blood pies! This is my comfort zone!""

Meanwhile Kwen needs to wow the judges, after her Kakooloo nut disaster last week.

""Oh no! It's going to be meat pies! What do I do? This is terrible!""

There's drama...

""Bakers, you have fifteen minutes remaining!""

Tragedy...

""Oh no, oh no, oh no! This looks a mess!""

And Triumph...

""This is, without a doubt, the best Frischenaak, I have ever tasted!""

Under the kitchen dome, today on the Great Chandrillan Baking Show.

[–] TokenBoomer@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

That was great. Perfection.

[–] Piecemakers3Dprints@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Missed opportunity for "fifteen parsecs", if only to poke the pedants to reply, frothing: "that's not a measure of time!" 🤪🤣

[–] thebardingreen@lemmy.starlightkel.xyz 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

It's a cooking measurement on a technical challenge.

"Three parsecs of krumm flour? Three parsecs? Is that even a baking measurement? Bloody dark side! Are they mad?"

"Meanwhile, Kel Turon's expertise in Corellian cuisine is paying off and he has it figured out..."

"Three parsecs of krumm flour. Haha. Well done Polhol'eewood. See, I happen to know that on Corellia a parsec is more than just a spacial measurement... They use parsecs to measure... well, almost everything."

[–] Piecemakers3Dprints@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

I like this one, Mom. Can we keep him?

[–] ttmrichter@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm tired of all these big tent "franchises" entirely.

Hey, filmmakers, authors, television producers, etc.: MAKE SOMETHING NEW FFS!

[–] BaldProphet@kbin.social 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Star Wars has been fertile ground for writers for decades, though. For every movie or TV show there are half a dozen books. Hard to say no to that.

[–] ttmrichter@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Easy for me to say "no", though, which is what I did ages ago. Maybe someday the public will get as bored as I got with seeing the same thing over and over again and will kill this franchise nonsense.

[–] Huxleywaswrite@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

What's really the most annoying though, is listening to whiny "critics", like yourself, cry about how popular they are all the fucking time.

[–] douz0a0bouz@midwest.social 12 points 2 years ago

According to ahem Legends this was Obi-Wan. They sent Obi-Wan to a farming planet and was essentially booted out because no master would take him. From the book, Star Wars Jedi Apprentice: The Rising Force.

[–] detalferous@lemm.ee 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Like the MCU, I'm just tired of star wars.

I never want to hear about the universe again.

let's move on and create some new interesting worlds.

[–] CitizenKong@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

I tend to agree. There are so many great sci-fi and fantasy universes waiting to be adapted. Just give me a Mistborn or The Final Architecture TV series.

[–] Senex@reddthat.com 2 points 2 years ago

A Mistborn show would be freaking awesome!

[–] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

I've always wanted to see some movies/television based on Niven's "Known Space" universe, and not just because I want to see a Pierson's Puppeteer. There are interesting worlds, one with high gravity that has land poking above it's atmosphere, one Venus-type planet with a single high region that's habitable, a desert planet that has its axis 90° to the ecliptic, causing high winds half the year, a system of five worlds orbiting around each other, one of which has no sun and a trillion inhabitants...

But no, let's go to fucking Tattoine again.

[–] phx@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yoda: "The force is, not strong in that one, but owed his father a favor did I"

[–] Che_Donkey@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 years ago

Autistic he is, special helmet he has. Mhhhhmph?

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

It’s tastes like mint toothpaste.

[–] Gaspar@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 years ago

This is kind of the beginning of Zayne Carrick's story, tbh - from the Knights of the Old Republic comics - and I'm surprised they haven't done anything with that one yet. I'd probably watch it, too, even though we're living through a time of Endless Trash.

[–] TheControlled@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Where are those force welding kids in Last Jedi.

[–] Che_Donkey@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 years ago

same place as the rest of all the interesting characters that had less than a minute of screen time but were essential somehow to the plot: fucking nowhere

[–] QubaXR@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Maybe Disney will buy the Monty Python IP and remake "The Life of Brian" in the Star Wars universe.

[–] llamapocalypse@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

He's not the Chosen One, he's a very naughty boy!