A .45 Colt 1911. Find out if it really is God's caliber.
this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2025
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Cut out... maybe I brought something inapropriate, something not fitting the narrative. I think I am bringing a blade, meant to show decisiveness. But on top of being a weapon it was roman made. ayyyyy
A salami log.
A pack of disposable diapers. They understandably looked at me weird because they hadn't been invented yet.
Well that does explain why in the Book of Mormon, Jesus dies at 63 of microplastic related lung cancer. 63. Too young.
Baby Oil
Non fungible tokens
Pumpkin pie
You brought a delicacy made from fruits that grow in a land none of them has ever heard of. That'd be pretty remarkable.
Damn right. Nothing beats pumpkin pie, especially around Christmas.
Weed
The Bubba photos.
Common Sense.
That's the brother of Frankincense.
Ferytrue! ¯\(ツ)/¯
Jacks, and a Lite Brite.
Booze.
Cyanide.
I recently learned from Jeopardy that apple seeds have cyanide
Raw almonds, a few fruits with pits in them like a peach, bamboo shoots, some types of lima beans. There's a few out there.
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Hey, let's keep it baby-appropriate. I'd bring him the entire DVD box set collection of Baby Einstein videos but they'd reject my offering because DVD players & electricity didn't exist back then, and they wouldn't understand the concept of vegetating while staring at a flat surface on the wall for hours ignoring all your bodily needs & ignoring all your chores & obligations & family & all human interaction.
Labuubuu. What the crap is a baby gonna do with some frankincense anyway?
Opium
Uranium-235.
A mother***king MERRY CHRYSLER
Didn't he drive them out in his Fury, or was that someone else?
Or maybe that's a Dodge...
A pickled cucumber
Weed. Buncha squares, those Wise Guys.
Guikt for the eventual damage done in his name.
Health insurance
A circumcision? :3 feel free to delete my comment I just don't think it's thought about enough
do you find yourself thinking of Jesus' baby penis often?
Nope never thought of him being circumcised until this question even, and I only give the answer because honestly, I think it's the real answer