I'd have gay sex with her

Sounds like he just doesn't want to have sex with his wife. That's pretty gay.

Yeah. That's essentially it.

I'd argue that he's just trying to claim that the reason no woman has ever gotten pleasure from sex with him is because he didn't want her to.

No other way to see it.

Now I have to tell my wife I've been gay all these years.

Oh damn. Same here, but different.

Given the grindr stats that follow them wherever they go, this seems plausible.

Getting your boywife boipreggers is completely heterosexual behavior

This implies women can't be as bigoted as men and i can tell you they most CERTAINLY can

I think women would be happier with toys instead of these guys, too. It’s win-win!

It’s really sad to see what Donald has done to people’s brains.

This isn't Trump. This is standard conservative brainworms going back to the Limbaugh Era and before. Just textbook Protestant-flavored Homophobic Misogyny. Dig through James Dobson's prodigious backlog of public brainfarts or poke around in the Joe Pyne archives, you'll find similar sentiments and commentary.

Enjoying good sex with one’s wife is now checks notes gay

Anything that gives a person undeserved pleasure is sinful. And the Protestant Work Ethic teaches us that only productive economy-stimulating labor is a worthwhile pursuit. Sex is a job, not a hobby. You do it to make the babies, not to experience any kind of corporeal pleasure.

raping children on an island is checks notes Ephebophilia

That falls under the "Very Rich Guy's Addendum" to the Protestant Work Ethic. If you're rich, it proves you worked harder than everyone else and none of the working class rules apply.

Turns out gay sex is the best sex! 🌈🏳️‍🌈🌈👨‍❤️‍👨👩‍❤️‍👩👩‍❤️‍👨

Girls don't hate their guts. Conservative women recognize this as virtue signaling and respond with the TradWife Pageantry in kind. These kinds of statements are purely performative. If you've grown up in these communities, you know that what you say in public (especially on TV) is totally different from what you do at home and behind closed doors.

There's an old joke popular out in Utah. "How do you keep a Mormon from drinking all your beer? Invite over a second Mormon."

When you're first introduced to the culture, its hard to realize that everyone is lying constantly. But the longer you live in the miasma of deceit and bullshittery, the easier it is to recognize that nothing these people say is for anything other than appearances. You should know better than to believe them. They don't really expect you to believe them (and periodically express frustration when you can't catch a fucking hint and play along). And so long as everything you're up to remains sub rosa, nobody wants to check.