Casual Conversation

I have a very similar job, overnight shift at a hotel. On an average 8 hour shift I do about 1 hour of work. For the rest of the night, I'm not there to DO stuff, I'm there to be AVAILABLE to do stuff. I can handle just about any task that could need doing, and if I can't do it I know who can. That's what the job is, to make sure everything is covered overnight.

And when inevitably things ARE covered, and nothing is demanding my attention, how I choose to fill the dead time is up to me. In my case, I have a gaming laptop. I don't feel any kind of guilt, because they're not paying me to find busy work, I'm not shorting them on the suffering they intend to convert into money, I'm performing the function for which I was hired.

That said, I do draw the line at sleeping on the job. If my function is to be ready and available if needed, sleeping does not fulfill that requirement.

You're getting paid to be available and respond if needed. That's not something to feel bad about.

Plenty of people have similar jobs like first responders and on-call agents in silent shifts where nothing ever happens. Your bosses probably know - they're paying you anyway specifically because there's always the possibility something happens and it's cheaper and less risky to already have you there and ready. Just make sure you're actually awake and available and you're fine.

I get the part about not wanting to feel judged for having an easy job, but at least your wife should know just for the sake of being honest.

What country are you in?

This "guilt" over not slaving away hard enough for your wages sound like puritan American bullshit (I say as an American). You're doing the job you're paid to do.

I personally would not sleep on the job since you say you're explicitly not supposed to. I would also think about why I would be so scared to tell my spouse about what's going; that doesn't sound like any relationship I'd want to be in. Other than that, enjoy the job many of us wish we had.

Oh, and set your discord to show offline. Easy peasy.

I'll be honest: If I were you, I'd be bragging about this. A well-paying job where you do nothing? Sign me the hell up. Besides, you're not there to do things; you're there so they have someone in case shit hits the fan. 99.99% of this problem seems to be in your head.

It’s not up to you to assess whether your job is useful enough to the company for them to pay you! They wanted someone to do a thing, you agreed to do the thing for a certain wage, you do the thing, all good. If you can still do your job with some naps because you’ve rigged an alarm or something more power to you. Reminds me of people who automate their own jobs.

Feeling like you’re living a double life though doesn’t sound super healthy. Personally I wouldn’t enjoy feeling that way especially with my partner. Why not just say you feel super lucky to have such an easy gig and that’s why you pitch in more at home? I can kind of understand the impulse to hide it if your partner’s job is really long and difficult or something but 4 years is a long time to live feeling like you’re a secret con man imo :)

I work at a boarding school, and my contract says I get paid over the school holidays as well.

Since its a boarding school, they have accommodation on campus, so I'm living here too.

The crazy part is, there was a mix up with the paperwork somehow. Rest was meant to be deducted from my pay. But that hasn't happened yet. Almost a year now and haven't paid rent yet.

I'm just making hay while the sun shines right now. Have a few exit strategies invade shit hits the fan someday

no, you are great

It’s completely fine to slack at work if you can but who is your wife to you not tell her something like that? I get the impression you’re scared of telling her because you used your job as an excuse to not to pitch in more effort in household tasks. Ridiculous.