this post was submitted on 08 Nov 2025
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[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

It's been tried. Where do you think nazgǔl come from?

[–] MattW03@lemmy.ca 5 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Fools. When they will learn.

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 1 points 6 hours ago

That's incredible

[–] awful_neutral@mander.xyz 19 points 1 day ago

Someone has never owned chickens. They are capable of unspeakable acts

[–] JustTheWind@lemmy.world 37 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Reminder that this is a stealth mission. You're gonna want a stealthier animal than a chicken. Imagine crawling through the dark in tense silence, only to to given away by a loud BKAWK. Not even a hobbit could sneak further than Moria with that condition.

Furthermore; The One Ring's greatest limitation is that it cannot just sprout legs and run off. Even beings of higher intelligence can be bent and manipulated to the ring's will (IE its ultimate goal of returning to Sauron). Putting the thing on an animal sounds like the best opportunity one could give an evil, tangentially sentient piece of jewelry the option to pilot the poor creature like a meat-mech directly into Sauron's clutches at the first opportunity.

As an aside: the ring could not be worn by said animal, it would needs be lashed to it. Imagine keeping track of a chicken which is now invisible to normal people, and also lit up like a beacon to the eye of Sauron and his otherwise day-blind ring wraiths. Bad idea.

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Lol for sure I know one of mine has a loud ass egg song. A rooster would be funny too because. They never shut the fuck up

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Someone never played Zelda and it shows.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Maybe they played it, but never repeatedly attacked cuckoos.

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Did they really play it then?

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

That's way too deep for a weekend...

[–] Tigeroovy@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They’d have eaten the chicken pretty fast.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 day ago

First day, second breakfast

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago

I have a hen that’s pretty bossy but for god sakes don’t give it to a rooster. A rooster would be king of Mordor in a hot second.

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

One fowl to rule them all

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 day ago

Why else did they have four hobbits in the fellowship?

You need a few spare mules in case you gotta put the first one down.

[–] LiveLM@lemmy.zip 93 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Something a little like this:

[–] skuzz@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

How does one piss off that many birds at once in that game?

[–] LiveLM@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If you attack the village chickens multiple times, this event triggers where many more spawn in and attack you. It's a thing in many Zelda games

[–] skuzz@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 day ago

I remember it from classic ones, had never seen it on the Switch one. Pretty hilarious.

I miss the class conscious cuckoos

[–] henfredemars 105 points 2 days ago (2 children)

You underestimate the murderous-ness of chickens.

[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 48 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Chickens are no joke. Theyre assholes too.

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[–] leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 day ago

They know, in the depths of their evil little bird brains, that they are dinosaurs.

And what dino (deinos) stands for.

[–] baltakatei@sopuli.xyz 17 points 1 day ago

This sounds like a clip from a LOTR × Ghostbusters crossover. They try using a trap but the One Ring upgrades the trap to catch almost any spirit or demon, including Balrogs, tempting the Ghostbusters to use it to capture Sauron, which, of course, is pure folly.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 13 points 1 day ago (7 children)

Well, first of all, the ring makes you invisible

[–] Aeri@lemmy.world 1 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

It is my understanding that what the ring actually does is give you power related to your greatest desire.

What this would be for a chicken is unknown to me

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 2 points 13 hours ago

What if its desire was to be so big that it can pick humans as if they were grains?

Sounds pretty dangerous, I can understand why they didn’t want to risk it.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Why let the chicken wear it? Frodo wore the ring on a necklace most of the time, why not do the same with the chicken?

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 5 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Well, that's just wearing it on a necklace with extra steps.

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[–] offspec@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I thought it just exaggerated whatever traits your race naturally has. Hobbits are sneaky -> hobbitses go invisible

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

Now that you say it, I don’t remember the book ever really getting into what effects it might have on other races. All we know is it makes hobbits invisible, and that it had no effect whatsoever on Tom Bombadil. No one else got a chance to try it on if memory serves me correctly (the elves refused, the humans weren’t allowed, and the orcs never got near enough).

It’s been many years since I’ve read it however, so I’m happy to be corrected.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (9 children)

Sauron wore it in the great battle, and he was by all accounts visible, otherwise how could Isildor cut the finger off? That would be a very lucky swing if Sauron was invisible.

No, I think its power depends on the wearer. Frodo didn't want to be seen, so it made him invisible to everyone but Sauron, who understands its power.

[–] Omgpwnies@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The ring doesn't as much make you invisible as it transports you into the shadow realm. Sauron, however existed in both the real world and the shadow realm, so there was no transporting needing to happen there.

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[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 34 points 2 days ago (2 children)

how could it work?

whoever carries the chicken will be tempted by the ring and will likely kill the chicken in a fit of weakness

[–] dditty@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You're saying everyone would've been tempted by Frodo's cock?

[–] tuff_wizard@aussie.zone 3 points 1 day ago

The look Sam gave him at the end of the trilogy had me wondering

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 39 points 2 days ago (7 children)

Yeah, Boromir was tempted by the ring just by proximity. Nevermind, how a person plans to make a chicken cooperate with heading into a blasted hellscape and up a volcano.

If that's the "plan", the smarter version is to just drag it in a bag behind you.

[–] propaganja@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Every day the ring is passed to the next person in the rotation, out in the open and acknowledged by all. The new bearer has to pledge, "I definitely will not be a punk-ass bitch and try to keep the ring, and I promise to suck everyone's cock if I do. "

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