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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Long-day1789 on 2025-11-04 12:47:14+00:00.
I'm appalled it took me this long to figure it out and that I just told her boyfriend about this, but I swear completely accidental.
Basically, when I was 13 (m), my older brother Max was 17 and my older sister Helen, 15. We played a lot of sports and clubs. The way our schedules worked out, most evenings it would be me and her or me and my brother eating dinner together (so at least one of them could walk me home every day).
High schoolers had late practices which meant that they'd eat dinner in school before training pretty often, while the other sibling and I ate dinner together. My parents both travelled a lot and worked late often so we ordered a lot of pizza, ect.
One evening after practice, Max came into my room and basically asked me to tell him how much Helen eats during dinner with me. I was like weird, why and he said he thinks Helen might have stomach flu, but is keeping it a secret. That kinda confused me, but he said he was worried and when you're 13 and your way cooler older brother asks you to do something, you say yes.
I remember vaguely telling him that 3 out of 3 takeout dinners we had this week she'd eaten a few bites of and thrown away. And like immediately, next day maybe both parents were home and they had a family discussion that I had to be sent to a friends house during. Most definitely an intervention. After that, we stopped doing dinners just Helen and I, either a parent was with us, or Max. I didn't notice anything else, but I'm sure they were just hiding it.
I do remember vividly, once when it was just Helen, Max and I, I fought with her about which restaurant we'd get takeout from and later, Max told me that "Helen's got stomach problems and she's not eating enough, and to make it easier we should let her choose restaurants from now on." The I understood it was like when you're sick and you don't want to eat anything but your favorite food. I remember saying she's been eating more since mom and dad got back and my brother responding "good, but don't comment on it to her face, she's embarrassed."
I wasn't a very picky eater, and Helen most nights would just choose pizza or something I'd like anyways. Especially as I got older, I just accepted it. I think when I fought with her about what to order, she'd annoyed me about something else. It was honestly ingrained in me to just let Helen choose, even yesterday when we met her, Max and I let Helen choose what we ate.
So here's where I fucked up. Max and I live in the same city (I'm 20, he's 24, she's 22), and Helen visited with her boyfriend so we could meet him. Boyfriend's nice and after dinner we're all sitting together drinking and the four of us are talking about sibling fights. Boyfriend tells us about how he used to fight tooth and nail with his younger brother about what restaurants they ate at. My dumbass, without hesitating says "We never fought about that, Max just told me its always Helen's choice because of her stomach issues"
Helen apparently didn't know Max about this and said to Max wide eyed "You told him about that?" How I didn't see this and realize what was going on was beyond me.
Her equally clueless boyfriend asks "What stomach issues need you to always choose the restaurant you eat at?" Clearly teasing.
I said out loud. On auto pilot, obviously, without THINKING FIRST bc I'm clearly just slow. "It was because she wasn't eating enough." Right then, when I made eye contact with her, I figured it out. She asked her boyfriend to excuse us for a minute.
I tried to apologise but she really didn't want to hear it. She yelled at Max about telling me till she was in tears. She yelled about how eating disorders are personal and how Max had PROMISED that no one knew except mum and dad and who else did he tell. Then, she asked where I got off on hiding this for years and letting her think I didn't know and why I thought I could tell her boyfriend about this. She was like sobbing, heaving crying so hard I could barely understand her. and then she left grabbed her stuff and the boyfriend and left.
I honestly have no idea what my next move is. I texted her apologising and explaining this basically, but she's ignoring me. I feel really bad. I adore her and I never ever want to hurt her.
TL;DR: I accidentally told my sister’s boyfriend about her old eating disorder because I didn’t realize it was one and just thought it was a "stomach issue" my brother mentioned years ago. She got upset and I feel awful.