this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2025
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“He did it. He threw the sandwich.”

That’s how the defense counsel for Sean Dunn, the man who threw a sub-style sandwich at a Border Patrol officer in Washington, DC, this summer began the federal trial against him Tuesday morning.

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[–] Cyberflunk@lemmy.world 8 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

cunt got to testify about a fucking blt, and humans are being wholesale sold to prisons

fuck this cuntry. America is dead

[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 2 points 56 minutes ago

No. Remember that they could not get this through a grand jury. The Grand Juries are practicing Nullification for these incidents because the public is sick of Trump and ICE. They had to go with a lesser charge for it ... and this one stupid case will likely end this prosecutors career.

[–] Fleur_@aussie.zone 3 points 1 hour ago

Waste of a sandwich

[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 2 points 59 minutes ago

This failed as an assault at the grand jury level, so they had to bring out a weak ass lesser charge.

[–] fritobugger2017@lemmy.world 24 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Video clearly shows that the sandwich was fully wrapped. Why do they need to lie?

[–] reddifuge@lemmy.world 11 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Because conservatives are fucking snowflakes.

[–] AlecSadler@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 53 minutes ago

Seriously, it was a fucking sandwich. Pick it up and eat it or something you miserable excuse for a person. God damn.

[–] almost1337@lemmy.zip 31 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

New ICE patches: "Don't bread on me"

[–] Vandals_handle@lemmy.world 7 points 6 hours ago

Tired: Cat Breading

Wired: Ice Breading

[–] klemptor@startrek.website 200 points 12 hours ago (8 children)

I cannot believe we're wasting taxpayer dollars on a ballistic hoagie attack.

[–] sudo@lemmy.today 2 points 2 hours ago

It's just a shame it wasn't a lead sandwich traveling at 1500 fps

[–] socsa@piefed.social 123 points 10 hours ago (3 children)

Assault with a deli weapon

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 12 points 9 hours ago

Top-tier pun!

[–] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 9 points 8 hours ago

This is so good it should be illegal.

[–] some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world 72 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

"ballistic submarine missile" was right there

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[–] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 40 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

I'm sure we all know the phrase that a prosecutor could get a grand jury to "indict a ham sandwich". It took prosecutors THREE Grand Juries to finally get an indictment for someone throwing that sandwich.

It's all a complete waste of time and taxpayer funds, and in any other point in history these prosecutors would have been fired immediately for incompetence at even considering an indictment in the first place, not even considering the possibility that they would try for three attempts.

[–] mercano@lemmy.world 48 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

They never got the indictment. The prosecutor had to downgrade the charges from a felony to a misdemeanor, which doesn’t have to go before a grand jury.

[–] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 22 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I didn't even realize that, last I had heard was them putting it before the third jury, and then that there was going to be a trial.

[–] gAlienLifeform@lemmy.world 27 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Actually, it's even stupider than that I'm pretty sure, two grand juries refused to give them an indictment for a felony charge, so they brought a way less severe misdemeanor charge because you don't have to get a grand jury to sign off on those, and that's what we're wasting this time on

[–] archonet@lemy.lol 4 points 3 hours ago

As it so happens, they can indict ham sandwiches, but not turkey subs. And I think this is arguably funnier.

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[–] JohnnyCanuck@lemmy.ca 160 points 11 hours ago (5 children)

I hope the people around him never let him live a minute without being reminded about what a weak little boy he is for whining about taking a soft, succulent sub to the shoulder.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 104 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Navy should give him a medal for surviving the first sub attack on US soil.

The Cunt for Red October.

[–] ohulancutash@feddit.uk 7 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

There were 3 submarine attacks on the US in 1942.

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 8 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Damned historical accuracy getting in the way of a decent joke

[–] 5too@lemmy.world 5 points 4 hours ago

...first this century?

[–] DrDystopia@lemy.lol 12 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Succulent...

Let go of my eggplant!

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 7 points 8 hours ago

This is delicatessen manifest!

[–] Carmakazi@piefed.social 47 points 11 hours ago

The injury was to the ego and authority - of the entire apparatus, not one man. They're all anxious to bring retribution and remind everyone that the enforcer class is above them and demands your cowering deference.

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[–] hateisreality@lemmy.world 35 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 27 points 8 hours ago (1 children)
[–] mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 4 points 6 hours ago

yes, just like the man said.

[–] Manjushri@piefed.social 55 points 10 hours ago

As neither party disputes the basic facts of the case, jurors will need to determine whether the sandwich-throwing is enough to convict Dunn on the misdemeanor assault charge.

Even if it is, this is a job for jury nullification.

A DC jury recently acquitted a different resident who was also charged with assault for allegedly moving her knee up toward an officer while being restrained after filming officers as they made immigration-related arrests.

I see that sense is, ever so slowly, being restored.

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 50 points 11 hours ago
[–] tidderuuf@lemmy.world 77 points 11 hours ago (11 children)

I hope the jury are all served sub sandwiches for lunch each day of this trail.

[–] nocturne@slrpnk.net 50 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

With extra onions and mustard

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[–] Norin@lemmy.world 39 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Manjushri@piefed.social 24 points 10 hours ago

That sandwich did not explode. It flopped limply against his chest just as you would expect a sub from Subway to do.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 7 hours ago

McPTSD

PTSBLT

[–] toofpic@lemmy.world 29 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (2 children)

US catches up - abot 10 years ago, a riot cop in Russia became a victim of an empty paper cup throwing. It was qualified as assault, btw.

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[–] TimeNaan@lemmy.world 28 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

/c/yestheonion

Or at least AN onion

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