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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Accurate_Wish5660 on 2025-11-03 09:50:40+00:00.
this happened over the past month, not today.
I work IT support in Charlotte. Small office, maybe 30 people, pretty chill environment.
Four weeks ago I sliced my hand open trying to fix my garbage disposal. Needed stitches, whole thing was stupid and embarrassing. When people at work asked what happened I just said "kitchen accident" because I didn't want to explain I lost a fight with old spaghetti.
Week later I'm playing basketball with friends and take an elbow to the face. Black eye. Now I've got a healing hand wound and a black eye.
Someone asks and I just shrug and say "rough weekend" because what am I gonna say? "I'm clumsy and have poor spatial awareness?"
Then last week. I'm leaving work, it's dark, I'm texting and walking like an idiot. Walk straight into a concrete pillar in the parking garage. Split my eyebrow open, had to get it glued shut.
Show up to work the next day with a bandage on my eyebrow, fading black eye, still have the scar on my hand. My coworker Janet pulls me aside and very quietly asks if I'm "safe at home."
I'm confused until I realize she thinks someone is beating me up. I try to explain but she's giving me this concerned look like I'm covering for someone. I'm like no Janet I'm just incredibly accident prone I swear.
But apparently she told other people her concerns because now everyone is being super careful around me. They stop conversations when I walk by. Someone from HR asked me very casually if I "knew about our employee assistance program."
Yesterday I'm heating up lunch in the break room and I hear two people talking in the hallway. One of them says my name and then "...definitely involved in something. Three injuries in a month?"
I didn't correct them because how do I even start that conversation.
Now my boss wants to have a "check in meeting" tomorrow and I'm pretty sure it's an intervention. I'm going to have to explain that I'm not in a gang or a domestic violence situation, I'm just cosmically bad at existing in physical space.
TL;DR: Had three stupid accidents in one month, coworkers think I'm either being abused or in a gang, now facing HR intervention for being clumsy.