Iβve been so stressed out I forgot it was Halloween yesterday, went for a calm down walk, and saw a bunch of kids in costumes while I was walking, which was very cute. Then I walked past a group of kids that looked maybe 10 and were fucking THRILLED to be out fucking unsupervised and able to say fuck real loud!! It honestly cracked me up, because I remember being that age and doing stuff like that.
this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2025
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This is the appeal of Halloween for society.
You are allowed, and encouraged, to go knock on a stranger's or neighbour's door and talk to them. . Most of the year, that would be an intrusive faux-pas. (And yes, as you say, kids can roam around in packs misbehaving.) Halloween is very community-oriented in thay way.
At the same time, it is individualistic. You dress up as something that expresses your personal whim, not a mandatory group tradition.
It is a holiday explicitly centered around negative things like fear and gruesome monsters. It's not a supposedly-wholesome holiday with problematic undertones, like many others. At the same time, you can avoid the scary elements and dress up as a cute puppy dog if you want.
Halloween used to be cool before people started creating obligations for it. At least work parties aren't obligations towards family members and you can slip out early, but it'd be a lot more fun if that pressure wasn't there.
Joke's on you, i already pass out drunk in the bathtub every day of the year π
I literally did all of those things and it was self-affirming. This is correct insight.
Passing out in the bathtub seems very dangerous
Does that mean a bathtub is⦠the danger zone?!?
Just putting this out there - you don't have to make "family" holidays family holidays. There is nothing stopping you from just not hanging out with your family on Christmas if you don't want to. I haven't for years, and every year I celebrate Christmas with friends I like spending time with instead.
You can also opt out of any part of the holiday that you don't like. If, for example, you dislike the gift-giving of Christmas, you can simply inform everyone that you won't be participating, and tell them that if they need to give you a gift, then they can donate to a charity in your name. If someone still gets you a gift, return or pawn it, exchange store credit for regular money if necessary, and then donate that money to charity and explain what you did to the gift giver - which should put an end to their nonsense quite quickly.
Another thing you can do is minimize time spent with specific people. For example, if Uncle Todd won't shut the fuck up about the pedo lizard people, then you can meet up with your family for major parts of gatherings (eg, xmas dinner), but then make plans to spend time with the people you do like when there aren't other things planned. Eg, "Hey, we should go get the xmas tree together! But don't invite Todd - I don't wanna deal with his shit." An even better solution to this problem is to be direct: "Todd, shut the fuck up about the lizard people. No one cares and everyone finds it annoying. If you keep it up, I'm going to start actively excluding you from any plans I'm making."
Finally, it should be mentioned that even if you show up with the expectation that you are going to enjoy yourself, if you end up not enjoying yourself you can always just leave. Eg, if Todd ends up sitting next to you at xmas dinner, just cut off his lizard person rant and say "Hey everyone, sorry to cut things short, but I'm not feeling so great. Bye."
Remember: it's YOUR fucking life. Don't live it by other people's rules.
I always hate the entire Thanksgiving-xmas span of the year because it's very much advertised as a family time. I'm not saying I'm miserable going through life alone, but it does make me somewhat bitter that American culture shoves what I never had in my face annually
I'm sorry. That sucks.
Fortunately, life is what you make it, and the holiday season is just part of life.
It took me a while, but I found a group of friends who have similar values and (lack of) family situations to mine, and we often spend holidays together.
Local meetup groups were instrumental in bringing us together and solidifying those friendships. If you don't have a local meetup scene, you could try starting a group. Any town with more than a few hundred people is likely to have at least a few people who want to join your movie club, hiking group, or some other thing you enjoy.
If those things are not options for you, maybe you can find volunteer opportunities in your community. Shelters and soup kitchens almost always need extra help during the holiday season, and you might meet some new friends there, too.
There are a lot of ways to make meaning for yourself, and once you have some people in your corner, the annual messages from American culture will feel less pointed and a bit more bearable. (At least, that's been my experience.)
Appreciate the writeup, I hope it helps someone.
I do have a meaningful life, I just move to different cities and states often. In less than a year I'll be on a different continent, and I'll likely be moving after three years again
There are meetup groups in other countries, too. I'm currently in Colombia and I was kind of lost until I found a local board gaming group.
THIS
And enjoying holidays solo is the fucking best.
This is true, Halloween is my favorite because there are no obligations except giving candy to cute kids in costumes. We did have a big party this year but it's not an expectation like Thanksgiving, and no presents to give or receive, AND grownups can dress up if they want to. Like it's the fun and creativity part of a holiday with all the other stuff removed. It's amazing that it is still like that.
Awoooooooo πΊπ
Divorce, same thing. Really enjoying squirrel chasing and bath tub pass outs.
πΊ
And it is so nice to be with family for the later holidays, too.