(Seoul, Korea) In transit from talks in South Korea, US president donald trump made statements to the press corps some consider alarming. Discussing the time change they would all be facing returning to the US, trump casually mentioned, “and of course, we have Daylights Savings Time coming up, and I am very prepared this year, those Time Beavers won’t know what hit them.”
Noticing the confusion on the faces around him, trump elaborated. According to the president, once a year, mythical creatures attempt to “steal the daylight,” and the very wealthy are required to do battle to save it. Only if they are successful will the sun rise the next morning, albeit an hour later, due to the battle. Trump said the time change on the clocks is used to account for the difference.
Reporters were mixed in their response to the story. “I personally felt it was creative,” said one reporter who asked to remain anonymous on fear of reprisal. “The ideas were fairly fleshed out, and the Second Squirrels were a really neat detail. Do I want to hear a story like this from someone who can launch a nuclear weapon - no - but it sounds like something you would tell a child when you don’t know the answer. It also makes me very curious about his recent cognitive function test alluded to last week.”
“Something really bad is about to drop in the Epstein Files,” said another. “The royal title business tells us things are close, and those in power are preparing for fallout. He’s probably back there laughing right now, thinking this will be the headline tomorrow.”
Press sources remained cautious about the story, with some calling the information “on background,” leading one to say “on background to what, candyland?” But some feel the story itself is a litmus test to see who will publish it, and face retribution in the future.
No clinical psychologists were willing to speak on record before newstime.