Ask Lemmy

Maybe try being sober. Couldn't hurt your chances with women

I'm entirely the opposite. I don't know how you find the will to breathe after more than a beer. I swear statues are made of people that smoke weed. I still feel smoke in my system after 3 weeks and take nearly a month to feel 100% again without the dull lag. After just one beer I am done for the day and won't get anything productive done. Back when I raced, my legs felt like they were weighted with lead bricks for a couple of days after just a beer. However, Adderall is like my super power.

Do you exist solely to do drugs??

I dont want to discourage you from getting clean and healthy, but you kind of can't feel the same joy from sobriety.

There are certain moments in life that will blow regular drugs out the water (cant speak for hard drugs/DMT), like getting married, seeing your kid get born, achieving a lifelong goal etc. The problem is they're just moments. Life is absolutely dull when sober, but once youre used to it its just fine.

I never had weed, but I did drink occasionally. I am seldom sad. I may not always be happy, but I am always peaceful. I cannot offer you advice, but I can tell you what makes me persistently joyful are people. Maybe I would help someone carry a bag, or just smile at someone running, reminding them that they can do it. Just small interactions in my beautiful little city with its beautiful people. Makes me feel a strong sense of identity, like I am invested in everyone's personal success. It also never makes me feel alone, because if I am suffering, I just think of millions of others who are also suffering. Some are facing bigger and some smaller problems than mine.

Try being more kind to strangers, more generous and more empathetic. This alone has led me to so much peace, that I cannot tell you.

I hope you do well, my friend.

Honestly pretty relatable. I had a bit of a “you’ll shoot your eye out” moment this summer. I got some flower for the first time in a while (it’s mostly a thc drink culture around me) and was smoking daily. For the next couple weeks the thought kept crossing my mind that maybe I should only smoke every other day to keep my tolerance creep slow and prevent what I call “zombie mode.”

I got to meet one of my favorite youtubers whose first video I had watched was this one “On Weed:” https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_pcavwJitC4

We talked a little and I asked if he still smokes. His answer? “Yeah, but only every other day.” To hear him echo the exact thing I had been considering internally really got me. I’ve been a lot better about keeping a day or more between getting high, and I have found that it has helped me enjoy being sober more as I have found things to do while sober, and also increased my enjoyment of getting high as I have more time to look forward to it and a lower tolerance that makes it easier to get to the right level.

I highly recommend it.

If you can't feel joy with substances that means you're an addict. You need professional help probably.

But speaking more generally, your issue is you think 'happiness' is an emotional high you have to chase. What you don't get is that happiness isn't some intense feeling of joy... it isn't. It's the ability to self-regulate and to stop chasing the highs and the lows. It's realizing the 'bland' feeling is good. You should be feeling bland.

Sugar, chocolate, cookies and cakes.

I have never been high and don't really drink much. I have been mostly depressed since about 2013 but happy maybe here and there. The clean air a few months into lockdown was amazing though.

How do you feel joy while using depressants like alcohol and weed? Personally I hate the loss of control, I feel less like myself, but I know everyone's different. To answer your question:

I go for walks and see the sunlight through the leaves. I ride my bike and, to paraphrase the poet, sing a song of the muscles of the leg. I read poetry. I hug my loved ones. I go dancing. I challenge myself with puzzles. I read YA fiction as a grown-ass adult just because I want the good guys to win every now and then.

I rather enjoy alcohol and weed, but I find I enjoy them more the less I use them. I think once a week or biweekly is the sweet spot for me, though twice a week is ok. More than that and the fun diminishes and the negative effects are felt more. My main relaxing hobby is video games, and I like the idea of beers/weed and gaming, but it really sucks for anything that’s not really casual. I’ve been running through hollow knight this month and I’ve noticed when I do partake in either that it makes the platforming and bosses much harder

I am in the same boat as you, but I agree with the other comments that say weed will make you ok with anything. Weed has always seemed like a good option for me due to (multiple sources of) chronic pain, but I can absolutely tell that it has affected me negatively over the years. I need a substantial lifestyle change at some point in the near future.. I need to reorganize my entire life, and also need to stop being a fat piece of shit.

Maybe you’re self medicating

Sugar

Sport and board games.

Nothing like the adrenaline of sport. Capoeira, fencing, whatever...I think having no power, being completely depleted after doing sport is one of the best feelings.

Boardgames: simply a decent combination of strategy, luck and talking, that keeps you engaged.

Weed gives me anxiety attacks and I'm allergic to alcohol.

Give consentual pets.

Alcohol only gives you empty calories which fills your belly unnecessarily. So I drink it seldom, and tbh I still not get used for that burning tasteless liquid

I mean, I don't, but I didn't feel joy with them either.

I guess, sometimes there's a cat to pat.

I'm "differently happy" when I'm smoking, without it I just have more "empty moments" that need to be filled with engaging activities and social interactions else I'm restless. If you haven't tried going on a weed break, I highly recommend it. If anything, do it just to show you you can live without it. Again, it's gonna be really difficult if you're experiencing loneliness, IME the one thing that truly helped me battle the boredom was other people so maybe use that as motivation to engage more with your friends and family?

Alcohol doesn't do anything for me and I haven't drunk in ages.

Because I know God loves me and I have His Holy Spirit.