this post was submitted on 27 Oct 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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[–] But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world 21 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] markovs_gun@lemmy.world 20 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I love that I can literally see the lady on the left's nipples through her shirt but God forbid I see the word "Nudes"

[–] foo@feddit.uk 3 points 6 days ago

I thought it was a fancy letter o. Everyone loves nodes.

[–] crapwittyname@feddit.uk 3 points 6 days ago

Reported for offensive language/hate speech

We freed the nipple, now we just gotta free the nodes

[–] ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com 226 points 1 week ago (10 children)

Holy fuck even "nudes" is getting censored now

Clearly it's nodes.

[–] KraeuterRoy@feddit.org 113 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Just wait awhile and it'll be be called una-dressed or something even more stupid.

[–] SoloCritical@lemmy.world 127 points 1 week ago (4 children)
[–] TheJesusaurus@piefed.ca 27 points 1 week ago

Ok but that's actually funny

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[–] Starski@lemmy.zip 23 points 1 week ago (3 children)
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[–] Credibly_Human@lemmy.world 202 points 1 week ago (25 children)

You fucking wish.

In reality nudes from women look shit too.

People just generally give women a pass/see women as more attractive for the same equivalent level of attractiveness or effort for the photo. They also feel much more pressured by society to be all "WOW! I've never seen tits in my life!!! Magnifico! βœ¨βœ¨πŸ†*

Nudes suck.

Thats my hot take.

The fucking suck, the person sending them expects you to receive them like they're gods gift to green earth and they're (the photos, not the person) just mid, so you have to act like you're a pavloved chimpanzee in full caveman mode so excited by this barely lit could be big foot sighting.

At best nudes are an indication the person sending you them wants to fuck.

They're not jerk off material. They're barely semi chub material.

They're just.... mid.

Could be the hottest person imaginable and they'd still be mid.

Its ultimately just a poorly taken picture with poor lighting, with someone who (reasonably) won't be bending over backwards to send you page 34 of the Kama Sutra.

It would be so fucking nice if it was deemed socially appropriate to say "Look lady, I don't need to see a 15th picture of your gooch from the same fucking angle" (but you know, with tact), but instead if you ever were to do that, they'd misinterpret your message as "I'm not all that sexually interested in you" rather than "I'm not all that sexually interested in every piece of evidence there is for extraterrestrial UFOs existing, but in a vaguely human shape".

Just a bit of a rant I hope was humorous but like seriously, I thought a few years back... probably like 15-20 years back, we all kinda agreed that nudes were stupid for security and revenge porn reasons, but now it seems the world is back at it again, for seemingly no reason, because next to no one is actually masturbating to these, and its like, just some fun chatting would get across the same effect or more, because it could display more personal knowledge of the other persons preferences and your desire for them.

Bah.

[–] erin@piefed.blahaj.zone 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Could not disagree more. Nudes don't have to be "jerk of material." That's not why my partners and I send them to each other. They're more for mutual appreciation. We like looking at each other's bodies because we're attracted to each other, not because we're expecting to rub one out. Also, sounds like you/the people you share nudes with need to take better nudes lol. We take excellent photos with excellent lighting (when the mood strikes us). Taking a "photo of your gooch" from the same angle is the woman equivalent of the right side of the meme. We all should know better.

Pose, angle, and lighting, people!

[–] Credibly_Human@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I'm sure you're right for you, but I'm personally of the opinion that bodies are best appreciated in person, and there is basically no way the amount of effort to take a good selfie is worth the relatively small payoff bonus vs chatting them up if you arent pretty into taking the photos yourself (like you find the process fun and also don't expect jaw slacking amazement in response every time).

I'm sure its all a preference thing and how much individual people value nudes.

Also

Taking a β€œphoto of your gooch” from the same angle is the woman equivalent of the right side of the meme. We all should know better.

I am definitely being a bit hyperbolic here, as I mostly meant to exaggerate the difference between successful non celebrity nsfw content creators/professional photographers and regular person pictures.

I do think you have a point here though.

[–] irelephant@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

New copypasta just dropped

Speak for yourself

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 163 points 1 week ago

That's a spicy hot take. Upvoted for passion and expressiveness, but hard disagree.

[–] Colors@lemmy.world 83 points 1 week ago

Upvoted for bravery, but I have never disagreed so wholly with someone on any topic more than this.

[–] Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 72 points 1 week ago

Thanks for this reminder that I can ardently disagree with someone's opinion and still think absolutely nothing less of them.

[–] RaoulDuke85@fedia.io 55 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Nudes suck! Please women don’t send me any to change my mind!

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 56 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] user224@lemmy.sdf.org 31 points 1 week ago

Task succeeded failury

[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 37 points 1 week ago

This guy is receiving way too many nudes

[–] SillyDude@lemmy.zip 35 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'll be using this as copy pasta with nudes substituted for various topics

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[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 24 points 1 week ago (9 children)

I think a lot of men genuinely pick bad ways to take nudes. There's "mid pic", then there's "pic from a really bad angle with bad lighting", and especially dick pics tend to be the latter.

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[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 67 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Nodes? Nades? I don't get it.

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[–] slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org 46 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Almost had to read a naughty word. That was fucking close you cunt ass bitch

[–] yumyumsmuncher@feddit.uk 37 points 1 week ago

Guys please don't omit balls

[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 36 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I’ve been told my nudes are very tasteful. They want a sexy picture of you with your junk showing, (preferably full nudes, or pants fully down, nobody looks appealing with a frank and beans spilling out of their zipper) and not just a picture of your schlong.

[–] BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

It's efficiency. The subject matter is the frank n' beans, who cares about the rest? Likewise, I would be perfectly content with receiving faceless melons flopped out of a bra.

If it works for you then it works for you, but I’m telling you that nothing soaks panties like a candid shot of you nude while washing the dishes or cooking. Toss an apron on to leave something to the imagination for extra points, it’s like lingerie for dudes.

[–] HappySkullsplitter@lemmy.world 36 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I just put a little top hat on my dick and call it good

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[–] HerrNetzwwerk@feddit.org 35 points 1 week ago (21 children)

Real question how du I make it classy

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Put effort in. Poses, lighting, some measure of a narrative. Use a decent camera instead of your phone’s front-facing camera with the flash on.

[–] pmk@lemmy.sdf.org 42 points 1 week ago (16 children)

A narrative? Like, "Not only am I naked, I'm on my way to... water the plants. They are thirsty, and so am I... In the background, dimly lit, you can see an ESP32 microcontroller... yup, that's the kind of guy I am... oh my, I can do pulse width modulation with my bare hands..."

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[–] Klear@quokk.au 35 points 1 week ago (4 children)
[–] individual@toast.ooo 39 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Points of intersection or connection

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[–] solomonschuler@lemmy.zip 29 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Why did I read this as nodes. Am I seriously that married to CS that I read Nudes as nodes (as in nodes from linked lists).

I guess it doesn't help that the they've used the character 'β€’' in place of the 'u' to solicite the word "Nudes."

[–] python@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago

Tfw you ask her for nudes but she sends her node_modules folder

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[–] percent 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Thanks for censoring the word "nβ€’des" so it's family friendly

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[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 week ago

It's still hot when women do it, for some reason.

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