this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2025
945 points (97.8% liked)

Not The Onion

18522 readers
996 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] BrotherL0v3@lemmy.world 327 points 1 week ago (3 children)

We informed the parent that documentation such as a chromosome analysis could be considered to help support or verify eligibility in accordance with policy.

I cannot imagine being the dumbass who said that with a straight face.

[–] RoidingOldMan@lemmy.world 203 points 1 week ago (8 children)

I don't understand why it's the school asking for this and not whoever updated the birth certificate? How did school administrators become the judges of who is a boy or girl?

[–] joel_feila@lemmy.world 89 points 1 week ago

republican laws often give the final say to the loudest karen and the cost onto the schools.

[–] Manjushri@piefed.social 57 points 1 week ago

Because their the ones who will be prosecuted under the law if they allow a kid to play on the wrong team.

[–] Lyrl@lemmy.dbzer0.com 43 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (7 children)

My (cis female) birth certificate erroneously was filled out with "male". Same error happened on the birth certificate of my mother (who is also cis female). It's never caused either of us any problems. Schools enrolled us as female, driver's licenses say female, etc.

When I was in college in the early 2000s, my dad's mother helped me get a copy of my birth certificate, and was horrified her beautiful granddaughter was listed as male. She called up the county clerk and raised Cain, and then informed me it had been corrected. I've never needed to get a fresh copy since then, so I don't know for sure, but it sounded like the word of an angry old lady was enough to get an update filed.

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Angry old ladies are the single scariest force on the planet.

Because if you make one angry, then you have to answer to all of their friends, family, caretakers, religious leaders, and bingo dealers.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 58 points 1 week ago

Did anyone inform the administration that documentation such as chromosome analysis could be considered to help support or verify eligibility in participating with the human race? Because it seems like they might be a slime mold, based on their integrity and decision-making ability.

[–] scytale@piefed.zip 24 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

Feels like malicious compliance to me. But who knows.

Edit: For those downvoting, someone else in the comments pasted a quote about a law that was passed in that state. So I was just speculating that maybe they were maliciously complying to show how ridiculous it is.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 230 points 1 week ago (13 children)
[–] fsociety@sopuli.xyz 81 points 1 week ago (13 children)

That’s beginning to feel like an understatement. We need a new type of hole to describe just how shit things are. A shit-Mariana Trench country, perhaps.

[–] crandlecan@mander.xyz 31 points 1 week ago

How 'bout... Trumphole? Truole?

load more comments (12 replies)
load more comments (12 replies)
[–] pleaseletmein@lemmy.zip 104 points 1 week ago (4 children)

So after all the hysteria about “biological males” in women’s sports/changing rooms/bathrooms, they have succeeded in forcing a biological male into women’s sports/changing rooms/bathrooms.

[–] KelvarCherry@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

They'll be grooming him into a femboy soon enough, y'know, because masculine men should dominate inferior males. Not because they're gay, or anything.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 90 points 1 week ago (7 children)

The principal really needs to read the law. This school is so fucked.

https://codes.findlaw.com/az/title-15-education/az-rev-st-sect-15-120-02/

The law in question only prohibits biological males from participating in female sports. It does not prohibit females from joining boys teams. Compare and contrast sections "B" and "C":

B. Athletic teams or sports designated for “females”, “women” or “girls” may not be open to students of the male sex.

C. This section does not restrict the eligibility of any student to participate in any interscholastic or intramural athletic team or sport designated as being for “males”, “men” or “boys” or designated as “coed” or “mixed”.

I also thought this was pretty interesting:

E. Any student who is deprived of an athletic opportunity or suffers any direct or indirect harm as a result of a school knowingly violating this section has a private cause of action for injunctive relief, damages and any other relief available under law against the school.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] heyWhatsay@slrpnk.net 73 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So glad kids can experience political influence in their personal lives. They will learn what needs to burn down.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 68 points 1 week ago (7 children)

The district pointed to a state law enacted in 2022, which mandates that school sports teams must be designated “based on the biological sex of the students who participate” in the sport. A federal judge blocked enforcement of that law in 2023, but only against two trans student-athletes who filed suit against it. (An appeals court upheld that injunction last year, and the Supreme Court declined to take up the case this summer.)

Any chance this is some malicious compliance?

[–] bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 40 points 1 week ago

It's really a no win situation though if the boy complies. Newsmax will show footage of a game he plays in as evidence that boys are playing in girls sports, and the idiots who watch will believe it and support even worse politicians and laws.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 61 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Townlately@feddit.nl 27 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah sometimes dogs get forced to play on the boys' team. Where is the outrage about the golden retrievers?

[–] FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I’m a single issue voter in regards to golden retrievers playing basketball, I assure you I’m outraged enough for everyone.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 61 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

If that were me, I’d start wearing skirts and mascara. Let my nails grow out, tweeze my asshole, shave my treasure trail into a facsimile of a set of ovaries. Pitch my voice up, incorporate the words “bitch” and “tea” into my daily vernacular. Cry after sad movies and even harder after happy ones. Entirely unrelated to the article, btw

[–] Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone 50 points 1 week ago

Take your pills, Alice.

[–] wellheh@lemmy.sdf.org 32 points 1 week ago (2 children)

At that point, don't you just start using the girls facilities to try and force the issue? The girls would get their parents to complain a "boy" is in their bathrooms and delaying gym by waiting for him to use the locker room. How incredibly asinine that a doctor is not enough to assert the kid's gender to their administration

[–] Sirdubdee@lemmy.world 37 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Demand the school install a urinal in the ladies room.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 45 points 1 week ago (7 children)

What a USA thing to do. Holy shit.

[–] hayvan@feddit.nl 40 points 1 week ago (4 children)

~~Your gender is what you declare~~
~~Your gender is what's in your pants~~
Your gender is what I declare

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Montreal_Metro@lemmy.ca 39 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That’s not a bad thing. He’s going to have a lot of girlfriends

[–] Magnum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 32 points 1 week ago (2 children)

No he will get made fun of from all the other kids

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 36 points 1 week ago

This is the kind of stupid bullshit republicans create because they don't solve problems they create contraversies in a lab and then when they actually get voted into office to "solve" them they literally do stupid shit like this.

[–] BananaPeal@sh.itjust.works 34 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Can we just separate kids by skill level rather than gender? My middle school cis son loves playing sports, but he's not very good. He gets discouraged when the better kids bully him because of it.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] Aatube@kbin.melroy.org 31 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Laker Jackson “has been enrolled in QCUSD since elementary school and has been registered as a biological female throughout their time in our district,” the district’s statement read in part. “The day before basketball tryouts, the parent submitted a new birth certificate and a doctor’s note indicating a gender change. Our schools rely on a student’s original birth certificate at birth to determine athletic eligibility [....] We informed the parent that documentation such as a chromosome analysis could be considered to help support or verify eligibility in accordance with policy.”

Becky Jackson told KNXV that the cheapest option for genetic testing her family was able to find would cost them $1,500 — with no guarantee that her son would be granted eligibility. “So who’s going to pay for that?”

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I'm glad the people that had emotional meltdowns over the chance of boys being on girls teams... have made a boy, by their own actions and stupidity, be forced on the girls team

[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 28 points 1 week ago (3 children)

On one hand, poor guy. On the other, if he's any good the girls' team is going to sweep whatever competitions they enter.

[–] riskable@programming.dev 53 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

He should play on all the girls teams, crush it like a total badass, then when conservative parents complain that "a boy is playing on the girls team" everyone can tell them to shut the fuck up because this is the future they always wanted. One with no exceptions or grey areas to speak of.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 26 points 1 week ago

You say this like conssrvatives would even grasp the facts that they did this. You're talking about the same group who claims to live their life based on the teachings of Jesus, who cared for all, even the misfortunate. Then they turn around and cheer the dismantling of snap and medicaid with zero irony that it's what Jesus would want.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

It would be pure awesome if he got out there and kicked ass. Teenage me would have fucking run with this whole mess.

"Oh no! PLEASE don't make me hang out with the cute athletic girls! PLEASE don't make me share their locker room!"

Kid should waltz into the locker room, casually strip down and shower. Can you imagine the howls of outrage?! Preface the act by telling the girls his plan so none feel harassed. They can all be turned around on the other end of the room, waiting outside, whatever, the perception and headlines are all that counts.

If you get down to it, he only need walk out with wet hair and have the girls scream and point. God I would have had a blast fucking the administration over.

And just what would the school system do about it? "You told me I'm a girl so I'm acting accordingly. Suck it."

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Sex segregation in childrens sports is legitimately a powerful indoctrinating force for binary sexism and the enforcement of gender roles.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] DupaCycki@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago (9 children)

I don't know how American birth certificates work. Is he officially female for life, unless he wants it changed?

I imagine trans people would be quite happy in such a situation. Like winning the lottery.

[–] dhork@lemmy.world 39 points 1 week ago

There is a process to amend birth certificates, presumably initially intended for errors like this. But then people who successfully transitioned used the process to amend their birth certificates to reflect their new gender, because there was no other way to do it. The transphobes seized on this, and started processes that refuse to honor any late changes to birth certificates.

It should have been a simple matter to resolve - his doctor wites a note saying "This kid has boy parts, and always has. The birth certificate was always an administrative error". But then, that would force the transphobes to acknowledge a role for facts and science to contradict their feelings. So, we can't have that either.

So, they go on claiming that they are just out for the best interests of kids, and that justifies why they are treating this kid so poorly. When in reality, they are just protecting their narrative, at his expense.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] RoidingOldMan@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What absolute moron is running that school district?

[–] Dave@lemmy.nz 33 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Is it possible they are hoping it gets attention to show how stupid the law is?

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] arin@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Girl changing room as well?

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 21 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Blind obedience to the papers. No thought required.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›