this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2025

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Programmer Humor

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802

POV: You're a programmer (infosec.pub)

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev

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[–] magic_smoke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 82 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Jokes on her, I've transitioned since last Christmas.

[–] Fisherswamp@programming.dev 80 points 1 week ago (2 children)

You can still bring a girl though

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[–] chellomere@lemmy.world 60 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I am the girl! Hmm, but maybe I'll bring another one too? 🤔

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The more the merrier!

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

it's yuletide! everyone (except that person. they know what they did) is welcome and celebrated!

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[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 75 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Who needs a girl when you have monads to keep you warm?

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 18 points 1 week ago

Or become a girl with gonads

[–] tiramichu@sh.itjust.works 59 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

No mom, I'm gonna BE a girl for Christmas. puts on programming socks

[–] yetAnotherUser@lemmy.ca 35 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You just need to find a girl that also likes Tsoding! Then, you can ask her "Hey, do you have plans for Christmas? I'd love it if we could do AoC (Advent of Code) in a language we both hate!"

[–] Gumbyyy@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

Well shit, I've never seen AoC before - I'm not usually very interested in programming just for fun, but I might give that a try!

[–] Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 35 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This kind of text hits differently when you're a lesbian.

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Wouldn’t it hit the same as it would a straight male?

[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

POV: Not all moms are accepting of their daughters being into girls.

[–] lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com 33 points 1 week ago (5 children)

There are far more male programmers... As a programmer, be gay or stay alone... Choose!

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Oh that explains why my wife is gay

[–] mathemachristian@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If she was around the same cs students as me then yeah

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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (3 children)

She sleeps with men, that's pretty gay

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 30 points 1 week ago

There are a lot of things she does but that aint one of them

[–] MrScottyTay@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Think you forgot to check their username before commenting that haha

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[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 23 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Can programmers only be with other programmers or am I missing something?

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"JSON parser 100% from scratch in Haskell in 110 lines" doesn't get you horny? I guess some people are just wired differently.

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I’m a programmer myself but my wife isn’t a programmer, that was my motivation for questioning.

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Don't worry. I mean nothing but humour by it. I myself am married to a physicist who takes absolutely no interest whatsoever in programming, but can talk happily for ages about something weird they found.

[–] cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago

Oh, is she, like, an EE or something? Maybe a web designer?

[–] lemmydividebyzero@reddthat.com 11 points 1 week ago

But you kind of have to leave the house for that... I mean... We talk about programmers....

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[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

There are those who transition, so a significant chunk of that male programmer population is "male" as in quotation marks, only that some transition earlier than others. Does not guarantee that you can get the transgender autistic puppygirl (or other variations) of your dreams, since many of them are lesbians.

But also feel free to look outside your field for a partner. It's okay to date an artist as a programmer.

[–] rucksack@feddit.org 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I think programmer should be seen as a gender itself.

I'm currently transitioning myself, already have a homeserver and a Linux PC, can't wait to be a real programmer.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 1 week ago

I detransitioned from being a programmer and all I have is depression since, maybe I should retransission into being a programmer

[–] shoki@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

and gender confirmation would not be getting called sir/ma'am at the starbucks but people asking you for IT help?

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[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 week ago

It's not gay if I'm wearing programming socks.

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[–] RedSnt@feddit.dk 26 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Prisoner of war?

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Paucity of waifu

[–] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 4 points 1 week ago

Pupil of Women

[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

not sure if it's sarcastic: point of view

[–] AugustWest@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

Title is edited

[–] RedSnt@feddit.dk 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I did consider taking a screenshot before the edit from POW to POV, but eh.

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[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 23 points 1 week ago

I don't think "programmer" fully captures the reality of being an emacs-based programmer.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

NOTE: no proper error reporting

Add those few lines, will ya?

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

But that would break the 111 line rule.

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[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 17 points 1 week ago

I wouldn't trust a guy letting their battery go that low either

[–] smiletolerantly@awful.systems 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Prisoner Of War:

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

There was no ESL moment in Ba Sing Se!

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[–] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm a girl. I'm not interested in Haskell, that's too frigging endofunctiorific. Erlang! That's what all the cool guys are doing.

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[–] gigachad@piefed.social 11 points 1 week ago (4 children)

A JSON parser in Haskell, what a day to have eyes

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

He won't be done debugging her by then. She'll be ready for beta testing next year.

[–] bestelbus22@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Hello everyone, and welcome to yet another recreational programming session with who?

[–] edinbruh@feddit.it 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If you are writing a parser in haskell just use Happy and get it over with

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[–] biggeoff@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

Based Tsoding

[–] goatinspace@feddit.org 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

AI girlfriend

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