this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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all 27 comments
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[–] xavier666@lemmy.umucat.day 33 points 2 weeks ago

Sorry, you can't poop because AWS is down

[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 30 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

God DAMN it you beat me to it by SECONDS

[–] gedaliyah@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] tias@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I thought I was in the target audience until I found it requires a paid subscription to tell my friends I just pooped.

[–] Honytawk@feddit.nl 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Just send them a text, with optional picture

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

that seems less optional

edit: update:

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago

On "X the everything app":

User AryanRebirth1488 from Indonesia just took a gigantic shit into the toilet. Hey, go to the toilet and take a shit more often! This was posted from an X-crete, Elon Musk's newest venture into bathroom products.

[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Why even bother with fingerprints anymore, when they now have colon prints?

Context: https://lemmy.bestiver.se/post/688173

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 7 points 2 weeks ago

No, you can't borrow my phone.

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 weeks ago

Ratemypoo website was quite a trip back in the early 2000s

[–] elvith@feddit.org 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

For effective shitposting, right?

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 3 points 2 weeks ago

It needs the most advanced AI and direct access to LinkedIn to reach maximum efficiency. No prompting required and all cookies allowed. I want all 1049 partners to get an instantaneous feed from my butthole.

[–] Akanes@startrek.website 8 points 2 weeks ago
[–] apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

13 years ago The Verge constantly hyping "The Quantified Self" has resulted in this.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Let me guess: this is all requiring cloud services.

[–] Natanox@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 weeks ago

Of course! That health data won't sell itself.

(The device costs 600$, and to actually get access to your data you then have to pay at least 7$ per month in subscription)

[–] myfunnyaccountname@lemmy.zip 8 points 2 weeks ago

This thing auto posting my poops on every social media platform would be the only reason I would even consider it.

[–] Wispy2891@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Because now you need an app to know if you have diarrhea

[–] Una@europe.pub 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

True, but also it would be cool if you could know what microbiome specifically lives in your poop but I'm not sure that's possible with cameras or similar technology

[–] boletus@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago

Mmm yes I love companies collecting poop biometrics about me

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 weeks ago

What if it collected the waste into some kind of chamber with a built-in microscope (combined with a window so you don't touch the shit), so that you could have a look at it yourself, as a little science project? Fun for the whole family!

[–] neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago

Skeets & toots ahoy!

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Who doesn't want their Instagram followers to know about their UTI before they do?

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

does it photo the tip of the dick and balls dangling dangerously close to the piss and shit water?

[–] Natanox@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 weeks ago

Perhaps it can give you a warning about that in the app. "Warning: Dingdong too long, offspring fountains in danger"